


Perfectly out of key

by macareynolds



Category: Amar a Muerte, Juliantina - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Female Relationships, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2020-12-20 20:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21062969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macareynolds/pseuds/macareynolds
Summary: Valentina is sent to Mexico after spending a year in a rehabilitation center in Canada, with the pressure of having to rebuild her career and reputation. Her family's record company needs her to get back on track and record a successful album to re-establish the label's name in the market. But she doesn't want to sell herself anymore, Valentina wants to play and write her own music. So, his brother Guille, introduces her to Juliana, a musical prodigy who guitar bass in a band he represents. They both need each other, but working together will not be easy.This story is inspired by music, which is always my muse. Almost all the chapters will feature a song, which can be by Alexz Johnson (played by Juliana), Lindsay Lohan (yes, really, you should listen to her music if you haven't. All performed by Valentina) and The Maine (my favorite band in the world. All performed by Juliana's band).





	1. Prologue: The rise and fall of Valentina Carvajal

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is my first ever fanfic in english, so I'm sorry in advanced for any grammar mistakes.
> 
> This is the prologue, chapter one will be posted tomorrow.

“My name is Valentina Carvajal and I am an addict” This was the first time I ever said that out loud and it felt horrible. Everyone sitting around me was looking at me, waiting to hear my story. It was my first day on a rehabilitation center in Canada. “I was sent here by my brother and sister, because I could no longer be left alone without getting drastically wasted. I lost my mother and my father with a few years of difference and alcohol was the only way I could find to deal with it. I ruined my professional career by patronizing a series of embarrassing scandals, jeopardizing my future and my family's company”. I took a deep breath before continuing. “I vividly remember the first time I touched a guitar. I was 5 years old, my grandfather gave it to me for my birthday. And from that day one, it became my best friend. Music was always my escape, my way out, my salvation. When I was 10, we moved to LA to expand the business and Carvajal Records turned into an important label. Finally, at 15, my mother allowed me to record my first album. She didn’t want me to loose my childhood for a career. I wish I had listened to her more. Before the album came out, she passed away. I focused on my music after that, trying to make her proud. By the time my third album came out, I was a big deal, but of course fame and success were not as fulfilling as I have expected. My dad was lost in his work, trying to make the company the biggest in the industry. My sister was managing my career, controlling me, pushing me. So I lost interest. I was 19, going to parties, dating another singer, getting drunk doing drugs. And then, a few days before turning 20, my dad died in a car crash coming to pick me up because I was making a scene on a club. After that, everything got worse and worse, until I passed out on stage during a performance a few days ago. That’s when my siblings couldn’t take it anymore and sent me here. I don’t know if I want to get better, but I wish I could want that, so I guess that’s why I’m here. And, of course, to stay sober”.


	2. Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Everything I've held has hit the wall. What used to be yours is not yours at all", Alexz Johnson
> 
> Valentina comes home after a whole year away, not suspecting she will have to travel again for very differente reasons.

One year later

It had been a week since Guille and Eva had called her to confirm that she would finally return to Los Angeles after spending a whole year recruited, away from her family, friends, her things, her life. And, although the news had seemed wonderful at first, over time, she wasn't sure she would be ready to go back. She had been sober for months now, that was true. And she did not have the need to drink or consume anything. However, that tranquility she had only experienced it in Canada, in the solitude of her room, contained by a team of psychologists, coaches and colleagues going through the same difficulties. Returning to LA involved facing the irrepressible maelstrom that was her life again: excesses, exposure, a career to the detriment, the absence of her parents, the pressure exerted by her sister, fame and his feelings as an artist. Every minute she spent on the plane, her anxiety grew. She had been taught many techniques to keep her mind serene, to deal with stressful situations, to cope with them completely differently than she had in the past. But she wasn't sure how effective it would be putting it into practice in real life. Unfortunately, all her nightmares came to life in the second she set foot outside the arrivals door at LAX. Thousands of flashes invaded her, enclosing her in a circle full of journalists trying to photograph her to obtain, exclusively, the first images of the return of the great Valentina Carvajal. Hundreds of voices repeated the same questions over and over again as an unbearable echo. Her hands were sweating, her head was spinning in an endless spiral and the air began to run low, until out of nowhere, hands pulled her forward carrying her through the tide of paparazzi until she left the airport. Without understanding what was happening, they gently pushed her into a car, where some arms hold her tightly, with need and vehemence.  
“Vale, oh God, I'm so sorry. I didn't think it would be so terrible". Even in shock, she could recognize Guille's voice. For a whole year their only contact had been, precisely, through phone calls, so her older brother's voice was very vivid in her head. Valentina hugged him tighter, letting her body slowly relax and her mind finally rested, enjoying the reunion she had longed for. Unintentionally, some tears began to escape her eyes, flooded by the emotions she was feeling. Long minutes passed until they separated, both still crying, watching each other with shy smiles.  
"I've missed you so much" Valentina said with absolute sincerity, and a little more recomposed. Guille had always been her best friend, her confidant, the only person who knew all her secrets and who really cared to understand and accompany her. Out of everything she had missed, there was no doubt that he was first on the list. Well, her brother and music, obviously.  
“I've missed you too, Vale. You have no idea how much” Guille replied sweetly. “Although, being honest, I wish you could have stayed a few more months. I think it would have been good for you. Eva and I ... Well, I don't think we can give you the contention you need, and that preoccupies me” Valentina observed him worried. She knew that he had left her siblings behind with many things to deal with, but she was not aware of how much had happened in her absence. “But anyway, you are here and I am happy to have my little sister back. I am sure that your return will be a positive change. We need it” Valentina swallowed dry at those last words. She was dying to ask how critical the situation with the label was, but at the same time, she was afraid to hear the answer.

The rest of the way in the van they remained mostly silent as they headed to the main Carvajal Records building in West Hollywood. Valentina kept her eyes on the window, lost in her own thoughts and memories, enjoying the wonderful landscape of the city she had missed so much. Although she was 10 years old when they left Mexico to arrive in LA, Valentina considered this place her true home, even when all the tragedies she had lived had occurred there. An hour later, they stopped in front of the company. Valentina felt her eyes begin to burn because of the tears that accumulated. There were too many emotions for a single day. They entered through the main door, where everyone greeted her very happy to see her again, they went to the elevators, and her nerves increased with each floor they ascended. Before reaching the last one, where Eva's office was, Guille took her by the arms and stared at her. "Please, Val. I ask you to keep your mind open. I've been arguing with Eva for many months to do what is really best for you, not just the best for the record company. Trust me” Valentina felt she was going to pass out, definitely dealing with anxiety in the real world was not the same as in the isolation of Canada.  
"I trust you" She said, finally, when the door opened and they headed toward the hall.  
To her absolute surprise, Eva's first reaction was to hug her. Sheraton held her as she had never done in her life. They had barely crossed the door of her office when her sister stood up and ran to take her in her arms. They both cried without saying a word, trying to express thousands of emotions in that gesture. The three of them sat in a small living room in front of the desk and looked at each other for a few minutes, not knowing what to say. Until it was Eva who decided to break the silence.  
“I'm sure Guille must have told you that we wish you could have stayed a little longer in Canada. A year may seem like a lot, but everything you've been through Valentina, everything you've done. I think you'll need more time to fully compose yourself” Her sister spoke calmly, but Valentina could feel a hint of fear in her voice.  
“Well, the truth is that I really wanted to return, but when the date got closer, I began to have my doubts too. However, I understand that you need me here” Guille and Eva looked at each other.  
“You know that I do not go around, so now that you are with us, I will tell you things as they are” Eva took a deep breath before continuing. “You know we had to sell the house and, in fact, we are also trying to sell the one in Miami. After Mom's death, well, we all know that Dad lost control of too many things in his eagerness to earn more money and secure our future. That left the company with a large debt. Fortunately, the earnings of your records and Lucho's...” Valentina shuddered at the mention of her ex, she knew he was no longer with the label, but she did not know the whole story behind it. “Well, let's say that with that we managed to solve the huge deficit we had. But, when the scandals between you two and your unfortunate spectacles in public places began, investors stopped showing interest. Dad's death ended up convincing them that we weren't the right place for their money, and well, then what happened to you. We lost the possibility of reversing that image” Guilt was one of the aspects that she had worked most during her stay in Canada, because she was very clear that she was one of the main triggers of her excesses. But at that moment, she had no way of escaping that feeling. “Then, Lucho decided to finish his contract, and we started losing artists while you were gone. Things got completely out of control and our sales are almost nil, if It wasn't for Andy”... . Valentina was surprised to hear that. Andy Bell was one of the youngest artists his father had hired. He was a good singer and played the guitar very well, but his songs were disastrous. However, her father believed he was attractive enough that the public would like him anyway. He had not been wrong, Andy had a good number of fans and sold enough to earn something and invest it in new music. But it was far from being a star. So, if the company now depended on him, it was not a good indication.  
“Andy? Really?” She asked incredulously.  
“We had a long talk and negotiation with him, we managed to convince him that someone should help him with his songs. It was difficult, but he accepted. We released a new song a few weeks ago and it has reached number one, there are many brands interested in investing in his next album, and could even make a great tour in other countries. You would be surprised” Guille seemed proud of what they had accomplished, Valentina smiled.  
“However, that is not enough. I think it's more than clear that the press has been interested in your return, Val. And launching a record after a year in rehab, no matter how heartless I light sound, would be a gold mine” Eva had never had trouble saying things without anesthesia “So that's what we want, Val . An incredible album to take you back to the top”.  
“We know that you have been away from music and that you have not wanted to play in all this time. I also know that, in the past, Eva and you had problems with the creative aspects of your music, and that led you to lose interest in composing” Guille took her hand to speak, still looking her in the eyes.  
“That will not happen again. I want my music to talk about me and what I have experienced. I will not allow you to include purchased songs on my records again. I want that to be clear about that” Valentina looked at Eva, who looked upset, but said nothing.  
"I won't let it happen" Guille said looking at Eva before staring at Valentina again. “However, I think you will need help to make it the perfect album. And we have someone, someone really amazing Val. It's who has been writing for Andy, and I'm sure you could create great things together”  
“Well, that's different. I have never refused to work with other musicians or composers”.  
"There is only one problem" Eva spoke again, leaning back in her chair. Valentina looked at her, and then at Guille.  
"You will have to travel to Mexico".

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

And there she was. Again on a plane, heading to the place where she was born, but had not visited in years. When Guille told her that she was going to stay in the old study of the company, which had once been the home of her grandparents, she felt her stomach contract. Her grandfather had been the one who had taught her to love music, and somehow she felt that it was him who she had failed the most with everything that had happened in the past year and a half. He would undoubtedly be disappointed of what she had done with her career, that she had abandoned her love for composition, that she had even stopped playing the guitar. That had always been their strongest connection, music. And now it was just one more burden in her life. She wished with all her heart to reconnect with that, with her passion for songs and melodies.

While they waited for have delivered the car that Guille had rented at the airport, they sat down to have a coffee, since her brother wanted to give her some details about her stay there.  
“Val, there are some things that are happening in the house about which Eva has no idea of. And I want it to stay that way” She looked at him strangely, She didn't want any more surprises. “A few months ago, when we managed to sell the house, a few days later the lawyer called me to ask what we were going to do with the rest of the family's properties. We decided to keep the office in New York for any business we should do there, and obviously Eva's apartment that is where they are living with Mateo. I already had my own place too, so in my head we just had to decide what to do with the beach house, which you already know has been for sale. Then, we remember the existence of Valle's house, our grandparents' house, the first study. We were sure that you, like us, would not want to sell it. There are too many good memories there. Then I told Eva that I would come here for a weekend, to see what conditions the place was in. Maybe we could even earn some money by renting the study. When I arrived, I got the surprise of my life” Guille took a deep breath before continuing. “Everything was in perfect condition. The well-groomed lawn, watered plants, the house even seemed recently painted. When I entered, I realized why. There were people living there” He paused, seeing his sister's honorific expression.  
"Like, illegally?" Valentina asked scared.  
"Yes. Obviously, my first instinct was to call the police. I was about to do it when I saw them. They were just kids. Noticias little kids, but Young enough. They got really scared when they saw me, they begged me not to report them, that they would leave at that moment. So I left them, told them to just leave. They began to collect their things, and I just stood there waiting. Then I noticed that something was playing in the back, a music that caught my attention. Something I had never heard before. I got completely lost in the song, until one of them removed the disc keeping it with their things. It was their music, Vale. They had written and recorded it right there in the studio. When they told me, I couldn't believe it. I asked them to accompany me to see the study, and it had been completely fixed. It looked like new. Then, something in me told me that they were what I was looking for. That fate had taken me back to that house and had taken them there for a reason. It could not be a coincidence. So, I offered them a deal” Valentina was tense in the seat, she did not understand where the conversation was going and was afraid to find out. “I told them that I would not report them, as long as they let me represent them and present a demo. And, in addition, they worked for us composing music for other artists” Valentina did not understand what was happening. “I wanted to take them with me to Los Angeles, but there were some problems with that. Nothing important and we are solving it. But they, well, one of them has saved Andy's career, and that somehow has given us all a break with our finantial problems" Guille smiled, trying to give his sister some peace of mind.  
"So, what you are telling me is that you left our grandparents' house in charge of strangers who, technically, are criminals because they occupied it illegally and, as a reward, you have given them employment and plan to sign them for our company? And not only that, do you want to leave me with them?" Valentina could not believe what she had just heard.  
"I know it seems crazy, Val, but we know very well that I would not leave you alone with people I don't trust. This is the best I could get you to be free to write whatever you want and save your career in your own way. You are welcome to return to LA and work under Eva's terms" He said with a shrug.  
"That's blackmail" She replied as a smile escaped her lips.  
"Maybe. But I trust this plan a lot, and I'll do whatever it takes to get ahead" Guille smiled back.  
"The worst is, brother, that I am so desperate to recover my life and everything that I have ruined, that I would do anything. Even this".

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Already in the streets of Mexico, every meter that the car in which they were traveling advanced, Valentina could feel her anxiety grow. She had not been able to get enough rest and much less accommodate herself, and was already in a stressful situation again. However, when they stopped in front of Valle's old house, an unexpected peace invaded her. The old studio was not in the center of the city, far enough to enjoy the beautiful scenery and the silence of the suburbs. Everything was as she remembered. The huge red gate, the high walls of gray stone, the smell of earth and tall trees around. Guille opened the grand entrance, leaving in front of them the gigantic garden that their grandmother had always taken care of with so much love. Intact and wonderful. The huge windows of dark wood and the wide gallery where she had spent so many afternoons was again in front of her, and she could feel some tears beginning to accumulate in her eyes. They entered the living room, which still had its grandmother's huge sofa and rocking chair right in front of the fireplace. Further back, the large oak table with the same chairs where they had so often sat together for dinner, with the large bar that separated the kitchen space. He approached slowly, passing by the corridor that led to the bathroom and the stairs, one facing the floor above where the rooms were located, and the other towards the basement, where the study was located.  
“Val, your room will be the first one to the left, as soon as you go upstairs . You can go and leave your things, I have to make a call and I'll meet you there" Guille excused himself going to the entrance gallery. Valentina took her bags and walked slowly down the hall, stopping to observe each of the photographs exposed there. She couldn't help smiling when she remembered the wonderful moments they had lived there, maybe that was the right place to get inspired again and feel in touch with her roots.

She reached the bottom of the stairs but could not avoid the temptation to go to the studio, it had been too long since she had been there, the place where she had seen her grandfather do what he loved and thousands of artists share their art. She left her things and slowly went down, until she stood in front of the entrance. She took a deep breath, and entered. The light in the room was very dim, and like the rest of the house, everything was the same as she remembered. The walls wallpaper with foam to prevent the sound from escaping, the grand piano right next to the stairs, the battery a little further. The console at the other end of the place, next to a few amplifiers, guitars and bass. And right in the center, where the only light was on, the main microphone was concentrated. But none of that was what caught her attention, but the girl sitting on a high bench with a guitar in her lap, playing with mastery and singing with the most wonderful voice she had ever heard. Valentina was completely paralyzed upon hearing her, staying behind the closed door.

I drift away to a place, another kind of life.  
Take away the pain, I create my paradise.  
Everything I've held has hit the wall.  
What used to be yours, isn't yours at all.

The voice was soft but powerful at the same time, and it perfectly accompanied the melancholy of the melody.

Falling apart, and all that I'm asking.  
Is it a crime, am I overreacting.  
Oh, he's under my skin.  
Just give me something to get rid of him.  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive.  
Another little white lie.

She felt hypnotized, completely immersed in the experience she was living, just like the girl, who played and sang with her eyes closed and pain escaping from her throat.

So what you had didn't fit among the pretty things.  
Never fear, never fear, I now know where you've been.  
Braids have been un-tied as ribbons fall away.  
Leave the consequence but my tears you'll taste.

I felt like the song was talking to her.

Falling apart, and all that I question.  
Is this a dream or is this my lesson.  
Oh, he's under my skin.  
Just give me something to get rid of him.  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive.  
Another little white lie.

She couldn't help but cry. What the girl transmitted with her voice and her music was too much to bear at that moment.

I don't believe I'll be alright. I don't believe I'll be OK.  
I don't believe how you've thrown me away.  
I do believe you didn't try. I do blame you for every lie.  
When I look in your eyes, I don't see mine.  
Oh, he's under my skin.  
Just give me something to get rid of him.  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive.  
Another little white lie.  
Oh, my permission to sin.  
You might have started my reckoning.  
I've got a reason now to bury him alive,  
Another little white lie.

Even with tears in her eyes and almost unable to breathe from the anguish that the song had generated, Valentina felt someone touching her shoulder and startled.  
"I couldn't find you, what are you doing here?" Guille was right behind her, she turned to him for a second and then turned again to see the girl, who was already standing and looking at them seriously.  
"She was spying on me" The girl said in the same powerful voice she had just used todo sing.


	3. Only Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sometimes I don’t know myself and I find I’m in tears when I least expect it”  
Lawson  
Juliana and Valentina meet and they don't get along. At all.

Valentina was completely paralyzed at the girl's comment, watching her closely. The light was not enough to admire her completely, but she could see her gold and bright skin perfectly reflected the by faint white of the lamp above her. She wore her hair in a medium ponytail, with some loose strands on her face, framing it delicately. Val couldn't tell the color of her eyes, but they were dark and very expressive, with beautiful long eyelashes on them. From her long neck hung a thin black leather cord with a pendant she couldn't decipher, falling on a black Pink Floyd shirt, too big for her slim body. Underneath, she was wearing shorts, which exposed her long legs. The girl was barefoot and her angry expression was distinguishable miles away. She moved slowly bending down to the floor, to leave the guitar in the case next to her. Valentina could not help but stop to observe each movement, even noticing how her chest relaxed and contracted with each breath.

“Juli, I'm sorry. I sent you a message to let you know we were on our way but I suppose you were already here and you didn't see it” Guille suddenly said, returning Valentina to reality. The girl walked to the wall just where the stairs ended and pressed the light key, illuminating the rest of the room.

"You know I don't like having the phone when I'm working" Her voice was mesmerizing and Valentina couldn't stop getting lost in it.

"I know, I know. You're right” Guille rested his hand on Valentina's back, prompting her to go down stairs, pulling her out of her involuntary trance once more. Her body obeyed, but her mind was still far away. They joined the girl in the middle of the room, Valentina still unable to say a word.

"I thought you would come with Andy" The girl watched her for a second before turning her attention to Guille.

"He is on the way. But I wanted to come before to talk you about something” Her brother sounded nervous. She was not the only one affected by the presence of the other girl. "She is my sister, Valentina" Guille finally introduced her, forcing her to fake a smile and stretch her hand before the girl. However, she received no greeting, just a strange look.

"Valentina Carvajal" Juliana murmured with a disdainful tone. "I find myself in front of a celebrity" She said sarcastically, making Valentina feel uncomfortable. “You have a beautiful voice and you know how to sing. It's a shame your last two albums have been disgusting” The young Carvajal froze at the statement, the girl spoke with brutal sincerity.

"Juliana, please" Guille said. "You already know I always say things as they are. She is talented, but she had wasted it” Juliana spoke again, unaware of the hurtfulness of her comments.

“Well, let's leave the criticism aside, please. We have come because we have a job proposal for you” Guille hardened his countenance, preparing himself to negotiate. He knew very well that Juliana was not easy, Valentina could notice it not only in her attitude, but in her brother's as well.

"Well, you already have my attention" Juliana seemed immutable, as if nothing she was told really interested her. She sat down again on the bench, watching Guille intensely.

“As you know, there is very little left for Daisy to turn 18 so she can finally travel to Los Angeles, and you all can officially join the label. And what better way to publicize your music than in a mega concert in front of thousands of people as the support band of one of the biggest stars of recent years” Valentina understood where the conversation was going and quickly turned her head to watch her brother. That had not been part of the deal.

"Do you want us to open Valentina’s show?" Juliana seemed genuinely surprised by Guille's proposal, but continued with her immutable gestures.

"Just imagine it. Thousands of people, the great return of a great star. One of the most anticipated and therefore best promoted concerts” Guillermo's negotiating side began to show off, and the brunette felt more relaxed.

"Where’s the catch?" Juliana’s distrust soon showed. Life had taught her to read the small letters in all contracts, read between the lines, see far beyond the obvious.

"Well, for her incredible return to music, Val will do a concert in a 6 or 8 weeks and the plan is to present her greatest hits and a new album, which will reflect her personality again, and describe her experiences in recent years, that have not been easy” Although they were talking about her and her career, Valentina felt completely oblivious to the conversation, and that began to annoy her.

“So what? You want is to write songs for that album? Get to the point, Guille”Juliana was also losing patience. She was a very direct person, sometimes too much, as people told her. She didn't like going around.

“Actually, what I want is for you to help Vale write and compose that record. She hasn't made music in a long time, and I think you two together could create something incredible” Juliana watched the boy in front of her for a moment, then Valentina, studying her, trying to know if she agreed with her brother's idea.

"Good. But I have some conditions” She finally answered, filling the patience of the young Carvajal.

"Conditions?" Valentina raised her voice, surprised by the arrogance of the dark haired girl. “You are living here because my brother allows it. He has not denounced you because he thinks you have talent and, as if that were not enough, he will help you to have a career in an industry where it would be very difficult to achieve something without contacts. Now he is not only giving you the opportunity to continue composing music, for which he pays you, he will give you the chance to be part of a show that will open thousands of doors. And you have the discourtesy of setting conditions. Are you serious?” The brunette had a hard time breathing, she had spoken too fast, releasing everything she had contained during the conversation. Juliana smiled slightly, with a mixture of malice and surprise.

"I’m very serious" Juliana said, simply, making Valentina snort annoyed. “As I said, I have some conditions. First, if we are going to play at his concert, I want it to be a real show. None of that crap of 20 minutes or a damn half an hour. No. I want us to have at least 45 minutes, or an hour if possible” Valentina could feel her anger growing inside. Every word that came out of the other girl's mouth convinced her that this was a bad idea.

"That can be done" Guille replied calmly. “Point number two: I want every person who attends that concert to have a copy of our album. I know we still have to record it, and with what happened with ... Well, you know, we're a little behind our schedule. But we will make it and we need everyone to have their copy when they leave the show. For free” Valentina looked at her in surprise, and then at her brother, convinced he would refuse. Eva and Guille were expert negotiators and managers, losing money was not their thing.

"Well, we'll be giving Val's album for free too, so I don't see any problem in that" Was that girl really so talented to accept all her requests?

"Good. Third: I want us to play a song with her" She pointed to Valentina "During her performance. Many people are late for shows and I want every soul that day to listen to us. In addition to that it would not be bad to share the stage with the pop princess" That last she said it with disdain, and Valentina had a regretful and excessive desire to hit her.

"I think that would depend on Vale..." Finally Guille showed a little common sense, his sister thought. He and Juliana both watched her in silence, waiting for an answer. She wanted with all her might to say no, but she knew that if this didn't work, she should return to LA and work under Eva's conditions and she didn't want that, no matter how tortuous the idea of working with Juliana seemed at the time.

"Okay" She said reluctantly. "Great. Last, but possibly the most important. I know she has been sober for a year and all that, but you know my rules about that matter well, Guillermo” Valentina didn't like the tone the girl was using. “One drop of alcohol or consuming anything, and the deal is off” She spoke with a firmness that made Valentina feel ashamed. "I'm sorry, but I can't risk my music for addictions" Juliana commented, looking directly into the eyes of the young Carvajal, showing for the first time a little empathy. Val held her gaze with a strong mixture of feelings, completely vulnerable.

"I fully trust my sister, Juliana, and I know she is the first one interested in staying healthy" Gulle interceded, giving Val a soft smile, which she returned with a shy look.

"Excellent. So, we have a deal” Juliana reached out her hand to Guille, who shook it. And then, she repeated the action towards Valentina. The brunette hesitated for a few seconds, looking at the extended hand in front of her somewhat confused. Finally, she decided to shake it, while staring into the dark eyes in front of her. When their hands joined, she could feel a powerful electric current running through every corner of her body. And the union of their eyes only made it even stronger. For the first time, Juliana smiled sincerely. It was a small curvature of lips, but Valentina felt a sudden peace inside her at the gesture.

"We only have a small problem to solve yet" Juliana's face tensed completely as she spoke, having broken contact with Valentina. Her eyes seemed to sadden as a hate fire ignited inside them. "We still haven't found a replacement for ... For Alex" Her voice broke slightly as she pronounced that name, and Valentina felt the urge to know more about this mysterious person.

"There was no luck with that, huh?" Guille asked, and Val also noticed a hint of sadness in his voice too. Juliana shook her head. “We will solve it. Meanwhile, what if Val helps you record the album? She's good with the guitar”Valentina suddenly felt nervous at her brother's proposal. It had been months without playing, and to think about doing it again with someone who evidently had a lot of talent, disturbed her. Juliana stopped to study her again, and the brunette could notice how she stopped to observe her hands.

"I know she’s good" The dark haired girl said and Val let out the air she didn't know she was holding. “But you know that our style… Well, it's very different from yours, don't be offended. I don't want to say that your music is bad. I'm not that kind of person, I like to listen to everything. But what we do is completely different”Juliana seemed sincere, so Val smiled.

"I think I can handle it" She replied calmly, keeping her eyes on Juliana, who also didn't take her eyes off her. "Well, I think this worked out better than I expected" Guille spoke by cutting off the tension between the two girls. "Now, Vale, go arrange your things while Juliana and I prepare everything so Andy can record"

"Wait" Juliana spoke suddenly, a little surprised. “Is she going to stay here? With us?” She asked surprised.

"Sure" Guille replied naturally. Valentina looked sideways at Juliana, who seemed really confused at the revelation.

"I can stay somewhere else if you don't feel comfortable with my presence" The brunette said sarcastically. Juliana tried to relax her expression so they didn't have a wrong idea of what she was thinking. "No, it's not that, really" She seemed nervous for the first time, and Valentina thought it was really fun. "It's just that ... Well, I'm not sure you're going to like living with us. We're... Well, very different from you".

Although she could tell Juliana didn't say it in a bad way, Valentina didn't take the comment well. Somehow I felt that it implied a lot of prejudices and she hated that. She had never liked people to assume things about her without knowing her. That they take things for granted just by knowing her family or last name. "Do not take it badly, really" Juliana excused herself again, seeing that Valentina did not respond.

“I understand what you mean, Juliana. But believe me, after spending a year locked in a rehabilitation center, I doubt that living with a group of musicians can affect me or my status as a princess” She commented and then turned to leave the room. When she reached the top of the stairs, she turned again watching her brother and Juliana, who had stayed speechless in place. "It was nice to meet you, and I hope you're as good as Guille says" She closed the door without looking back.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Still upset about the whole situation, Valentina finished organizing her things in the room and decided to take a bath. Guille had reserved for her the same room in which she had slept so many summers visiting her grandparents, and evidently the new inhabitants of the house had tried to keep it intact. She thanked them for that, although she knew she shouldn't. She had nothing to thank them for, that was her house.

While the hot water gently ran through her skin, she thought about how crazy was everything she was living. It seemed like a fiction story, a bad teenage movie where the protagonist was sent with a group of outcasts to learn what it was like to live a life different from hers. She smiled at her own thoughts, because somehow that was what was happening, no matter how silly it sounded. And maybe it wouldn't be so bad. She didn’t like Juliana, she had no doubts about that. But her brother seemed to blindly trust in her, and although she had heard her sing just one song, she could not deny that there was something special about the girl. And she knew how to play the guitar, there was no doubt about that either. Besides, she had heard Andy's new songs, they were really good. She just had to keep his mind open, as Guille had said.

She left the bathroom feeling much more relaxed, willing to stay in the room and read or keep her mind busy on something else. But her curiosity was stronger, she wanted to see the supposed musical prodigy in action. She wanted to hear what she had composed for Andy now. She wanted to be sure that she could trust the fate of her career in a complete stranger who hadn't treated her well at all.

She went down the stairs silently and entered the basement when she saw that the red light of the recording was off. She found Andy sitting in the middle of the room with the microphone in front of him, warming his throat. Guille was standing in front of the console, waiting to start the session and Juliana was sitting at the piano with her eyes closed. When the singer saw her, he smiled. They had always got along. Guille motioned for her to remain silent and approach him. She walked slowly feeling nervous suddenly, it had been a long time since she had been in a studio and much more since she had witnessed a session in that same place. There was a special magic inhabiting that space, and she wanted to feel it again in her whole being.

Her brother touched some buttons on the console and gave Andy and Juliana the signal to start. Once again, Valentina got lost watching the girl, who gently moved her fingers over the keys playing a sad melody.

It's been 2 hours, blank at each other  
Don't draw this out, no need to suffer  
Do we say that it was just end and bed was cold?

Andy's voice sounded softly in the back of her head, but the brunette was completely hypnotized by the music Juliana was still emitting with her eyes completely closed, letting her senses guide her in the song.

You touched my face that makes it better  
But I've seen the life, we can't have together  
So why am I finding it so hard to cut the tie

Juliana opened her eyes and Valentina felt herself sinking completely into the depths of her black irises, the dark haired girl watched her, without losing a single note.

It's only water, filling up my eyes  
It's only water, why am I crying  
Why are we crying?  
It's only water, why cry?

As had happened before, she felt the tears come to her eyes, exactly as the song said.

We found this love when we were desperate  
If I could go back, I would have left it  
Don't look at me like I'm not saying this for you as well

Juliana had seemed a hard and very little empathetic person, however, listening to her songs completely changed what you could think of her. There was a unique sensitivity hidden behind each letter and note.

It's only water, filling my eyes  
It's only water, why am I crying?  
Why are we crying?

Sometimes I don't know myself  
And I find I'm in tears when I least expect it  
It's only water, I cry

The song was reaching its highest point and Valentina felt her heart gallop thousands of miles per hour in her chest, tears escaped uncontrollably and rolled down her face, feeling the lyrics speak to her again.

Why, why this feeling now?  
Do we have to break it off, to bring it back to life?  
Why this feeling now?  
Do I have to cry this way to realize?  
It's only water if I cry

Valentina was in a bubble, completely absorbed from the rest of the world. At that moment there was only her, the music and Juliana, who did not look away.

It's only water, filling up my eyes  
It's only water, why am I crying?  
Why are we crying?

Sometimes I don't know myself  
And I find I'm in tears when I least expect it  
It's only water if I cry

If I cry

The song ended and Valentina could tell she wasn't the only one crying. Andy had dropped some tears and Guille had red eyes. However, Juliana seemed immutable again, as if nothing affected her. The young Carvajal was dying to ask about the song, as well as that heartbreaking one she had heard a few hours ago when she found Juliana singing alone in the studio. And at that moment she felt very grateful to her brother, because she was convinced that Juliana would help her write the best album of her career.

"Wow, guys, that was amazing" Guille said smiling. The atmosphere slowly relaxed as everyone escaped the hypnotizing moment they had shared. “Juliana, are you sure you don't want to play in the show? I don't want to offend my own piano skills, but with you playing it feels different. Much more intense” Andy approached the girl still sitting at the piano, who smiled shyly.

"Very sure. It wouldn't work the same way for your fans. We know that girls have a weakness for musicians on the piano” She commented raising her eyebrows. "And you know a lot about that, right?" The singer followed the joke.  
“About piano? Very much” Juliana said, standing up. "You know I’m talking about the girls" Andy winked at her and she pushed him amusedly by the shoulder. Valentina watched them confused and intrigued by the boy's words.

"Do we do a second take?" Guille asked, bringing them all back to reality. "Sure, I want it to be perfect" Andy replied returning to his place in the center of the study.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After recording two more versions of that song and three others, everyone went up to the living room for coffee. They sat around the small table, talking about music and what had happened in Valentina's absence. However, the brunette could not concentrate on the conversation. Juliana's presence distracted her. The girl, barely speaking or commenting, always seemed to be abstracted in her own world, and Val couldn't help wondering what was going on in her head. Juliana was an absolute mystery, and she was sure that behind those secrets that surrounded her, her songs and her talent were hidden.

After a few minutes, voices from the garden took her out of her contemplative activity towards Juliana. A boy and a girl, who looked just like teenagers, came in talking animatedly and smiled when they met Guille and Andy in the living room.

"Guille!" The girl shouted, greeting young Carvajal boy, who had already stood up and had come to greet them. "Don't tell me you recorded without us here" The boy reproached them for giving his brother and the singer a severe but funny look as they hugged each other as if they had known one another for a lifetime. Juliana remained in her place, although Valentina could tell she felt much more relaxed in the presence of newcomers. Suddenly, the girl that Val did not know stopped watching her, her eyes seemed to come out of her orbits and a loud scream escaped from her mouth leaving everyone very confused.

“NO FUCKING WAY” Her screams had to be heard throughout the neighborhood. “It's VALENTINA CARVAJAL. Juli, JULI is Valentina” The girl said with her eyes moving between Val and Juliana, who seemed really ashamed at her reaction. "I know" Juliana replied, unable to prevent a funny smile from drawing on her face.

“I can't believe you're here. I mean, I know that you are Guille's sister, and that there were chances that we would meet you, but now you are right here and it is crazy because the truth is that I am a huge fan…” The girl kept talking and Valentina tried to contain her laughter at her reaction. The boy decided to interrupt her partner's monologue, and stood just in front of the brunette, extending his hand.

"It is a true honor to meet you, madame" He said as Valentina stretched her hand toward his. To Val’s surprise, the young man took it and kissed it instead of shaking it. Juliana rolled her eyes at the scene. “I am John, a great admirer and your faithful servant. For whatever you need, beautiful lady” Valentina could no longer contain her laughter, however she nodded amicably with her head at the greeting.

“And I am Daisy. Much more fun and less inappropriate than John” Said the girl, smiling happily. Juliana seemed truly upset at the reaction of her friends, and that seemed incredibly funny to Valentina.

"The pleasure is all mine. I imagine you must be my other new housemates” The two looked at each other in shock at the words of the singer. "Housemates?" Daisy repeated with her eyes wide open in surprise. "It's a joke, isn't it?" She watched Juliana and then Guille for some sign that would reveal the truth behind what Valentina had just said.

"Not at all. Valentina will stay with you for a few weeks for Juliana to help her work on her new album. And then, you will travel with her to Los Angeles to play on her comeback show” Guille commented knowing that the reaction of the two kids would be worthy of being recorded and viralized on the internet.

"IT CAN'T BE" John shouted with his mouth wide open. “Is it true, Juls?" Juliana stood up and got in between the other two, hugging them by the shoulders. “Not only is it true, but also Valentina will help us record our album until we find a new guitarist. How does that sound?” The dark haired girl’s eyes met Val's again, and they both smiled without being able to avoid it.

“We will leave them so Juli can explain the details. Andy and I have a lot of work” Guille interrupted the moment to escape another series of uncontrolled screams. He approached the group and greeted them, with Andy imitating him later. Then he approached Valentina, separating her slightly from the rest.

“I know all this is too much, Val. But trust me. I assure you that this experience will be unique, for you and for them. And I really believe that you and Juliana will do something magical together” Val slowly absorbed her brother's words, watching the other girl and her two friends chatting and hugging each other excitedly. For some reason, the scene seemed very sweet and that comforted her. She was willing to give them a chance and give herself one.

"You may be right” She replied to Guille and they hugged to say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I do while writting it.
> 
> I have created and spotify playlist with the songs that will appear on the fic. It has only two so far, but I'll be adding them as soon as they are played or mentioned in the story.
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/11170452022/playlist/14oVek600YetIxCuYl6sJC?si=EmkFh9o2Tu-k-eI4oMGDmw
> 
> Let’s be friends on Twitter and Instagram, you can find me as @MacaReynolds.
> 
> Love!


	4. F**ked up Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’re searching for something. Just trying to make it happen. We listen to no one, don’t forget we won’t forgive. They’ll write the story of the lives we lived", The Maine  
.  
.  
.  
Valentina leanrs the story behind the band and Juliana's past.

Valentina had never felt uncomfortable or upset about being the center of attention. She was the youngest girl in a very spoiling family, a pop star recognized and adored by her fans. She was used to talking about herself and to others wanting to know about her. However, her time in seclusion in Canada had made her a little more introspective and now it was difficult to expose herself and shine in the middle of a conversation. However, for some reason, Daisy and John made her feel as her former self. Since they had arrived, and especially after Guille and Andy left, the two of them hadn’t stopped talking for a single second, asking her absolutely everything about her life, mainly about the world of music and the sensations she had experienced every time she was on a stage in front of thousands of people. Both looked like two small children hearing stories about fairies, goblins or something like that. And it felt really good to relax in such an environment.

But Valentina could only really concentrate on one thing: Juliana. The girl sat on the other side, facing her, a little further than Daisy and John. Her dark and expressive brown eyes focus on the interaction between the other three, but the brunette noticed how her mind was elsewhere. Juliana did not speak, did not emit a single word, as if nothing they were talking about interested her. And it probably didn’t, because it was obvious that Valentina's life didn't matter to her at all. The young Carvajal wanted to ask her a million things, about her music, her songs. But the coldness and indifference of the other girl intimidated her.

"Before reaching the point where I can write the autobiography of the great Valentina Carvajal, I will go to take a shower and then prepare some dinner for everyone" Juliana finally spoke, standing up and walking towards the hall. “Dinner is always at 7, Valentina. I'm sure that Daisy and John can catch you up with the house rules” She said before disappearing from Val’s sight.

"Is she always like this?" Valentina asked once she was sure that the brunette would not listen to her. "So, you mean funny, friendly and kind?" John replied laughing. “Juls had had a hard life, and she doesn't trust people much… Being sociable is not her thing. That's why she's not the lead singer of our band” Daisy added laughing too.

Valentina opened her eyes in surprise. “She's not the lead singer? It can't be, with the voice she has… It's ridiculous”. “We know it, but she says she doesn't have the attitude to do it. So she left that in the hands of a true talent… I mean, me” John commented proudly, causing Daisy to roll her eyes. "I think the worst mistake Juls has made in her life was to tell you that you are the main star of the band" Daisy said laughing. "You are the worst sister in the world" John pretended to be offended.

"You too are brother and sister?" Valentina looked at them confused. "Yes, I know we don't look alike, but we are" Daisy smiled at John. “And how did you meet Juliana? I mean, how did you form the band?” Asked curiously the brunette. "Guille didn't tell you anything about us?" John suddenly became serious, and Daisy looked tense. "Not too much, except for the part where he got to the house and you were living here" Val looked awkward.

John took a deep breath, resting his back completely on the couch, trying to gather strength to tell the whole story. “It was never a coincidence that we got here. It was where Juls needed to finish her trip. We met in Las Vegas, where we were all working as street musicians. Daisy and I lost our parents when we were children. Well, our mother really, we never knew who our father was, I was too young to remember him. She died during Daisy's birth, I was two years old” Valentina swallowed thickly at the confession. It might sound selfish, but sometimes she simply forgot that she wasn't the only one whose past was tragic.

“Our grandparents raised us, but when I was 10, they died too. So we entered the system. We were in some shelters and orphanages. And then they took us to an adoptive home. It wasn't that bad, given the circumstances and they let us be together, which was a lot. However, when I turned 16, it was time to take me somewhere else and they were going to separate us. So we left. We escaped". Daisy's eyes were beginning to fill with tears, and Val stretched out her hand to cover the girl's trying to comfort her a little.

“And then we end up in Las Vegas, somehow. I was already a little over 17. We got there with a friend, but he had some problems and disappeared. So we were alone in a city we didn't know, without money. And we saw Juliana. She played the guitar every day at the entrance of a casino. We heard her, and she was amazing. But I had an idea. My grandfather had taught me to play the guitar, I was not very good, I had leaned more for bass, although I had not played for several years. Daisy had learned to play the drums in the classes they gave us at school as a recommendation of the social worker, who said that would help her burn energy”John smiled tenderly at his sister. “So there was Juliana alone, with a pair of guitars, a peruan box and tambourine. So..." The boy was silent for a moment.

"You robbed her?" Valentina guessed. “It's not something I'm proud of, Val. But we didn't know what else to do. We were desperate That was our solution to earn some money” He replied, embarrassed. "I understand, although it may not seem like it, I understand it" Said the brunette, offering a smile.

“While Juls was distracted receiving compliments from some tourists, I took the guitar and the box, and Daisy the tambourine and we ran. We ran as we had never done before. I think we got to the other side of the city. What we didn't know was that Juliana had a car. She found us very soon” John laughed at the memory. “We were just beginning to play something, trying to remember how little we knew. And then, she completely surprised us. She said something like: ‘Instead of taking my job, we could make money together, right?’ She didn't know us, she had no idea why we had stolen her things, and yet she preferred to give us a chance” His voice was breaking. “I know that Juls may seem hard and difficult, she actually is. But she is one of the best people I've ever met and she saved our lives” Valentina felt her heart skip a beat.

“With the help of Juls and her talent, we quickly became a band. So to speak. And then we met Alex. She joined us after we managed to get a bass for John. We were buying instruments and more and more materials to become something serious” Daisy spoke while waiting for her brother to recover a little.

“What was the problem with this Alex? Juliana seemed very upset when she mentioned her, even Guille” Valentina was very curious about that name. “We better not talk about it for now. Juls is very sensitive about it yet” Valentina nodded at Daisy's response.

“Our first months with Juli, we slept inside her car, a 67 Impala that she had inherited from her dad. When we did a little better, we rented a trailer in an old parking lot. And when we had gathered a good amount of instruments and money, Juls asked us to accompany her on her trip. There she told us her whole background” Valentina watched John intensely, wanted to know everything behind Juliana's story desperately.

“Juls's father was a musician, a very good one from what we could hear. But he and her mother argued a lot about that matter. She didn't like him working on it. So when Juls was 12, he left. They had a special connection, he taught her everything he knew. Music was their thing. But when he left, she couldn't play anymore. In the car, inside the garage, he left his entire record collection, two guitars, and a few more things he wanted Juls to have. But she didn't touch them. She shuttered herself after that, believing that her father had never cared. After her 16th birthday, Juliana confessed to her mother that she was gay” Valentina's eyes widened. Andy's comment made sense now, something that still spun in the brunette's head. "Obviously, she didn't take it well and kicked Juls out of the house, telling her that she was not her daughter, that it was a waste just like her father" Valentina could feel her chest contracting and tears coming to her eyes.

“Juliana took the keys of the Impala for the first time and left. After traveling only for a few blocks, she had to stop because tears did not let her drive. Then she started checking the car. And in the compartment, she found letters and postcards that her father had sent. Almost everyday, since he left, until the day of her 16th birthday, he had written telling her about his adventures and apologizing for leaving”. "Her mother hid them" The brunette said sadly. Daisy and John nodded.

“Then Juls decided that she would go looking for him. She began going around every place from which he had written, from the last to the first. But in the middle of that she arrived to Vegas, she no longer had money and she felt lonely and discouraged. Finding us was our destiny, you know? We became the family we all had lost” Valentina could no longer prevent tears from rolling down her face.

“So we joined her in her search. Daisy, Alex and me. While we made music and escaped. And so we arrived here, to the first place where her father had been after leaving. ”

Valentina didn't know what to say, she tried to process everything she had just heard. She still felt bad about how Juliana had treated her, but she understood. Who would not be distrustful after having gone through all that?

"And, haven't you heard from him yet?" She asked, and noticed how John and Daisy tensed. “He died, Val. After writing that last postcard” Valentina wanted to run to where Juliana was and hug her. Contain her as nobody had done with her.

\-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- -----------------

After that intense conversation, they continued talking about trivial things while Juliana prepared dinner. Having heard all that, Valentina was even more anxious to work with the dark haired girl and discover all her secrets, mainly who Alex was and what had happened with her.

Juls had prepared tacos, and they were excellent. For a year, Valentina had eaten very little because the food at the rehabilitation center had never been good. It felt amazing to taste something like that. “This is amazing, Juliana. I know you're a great musician, but if that fails, you could dedicate yourself to cooking” The young Carvajal commented with her mouth full, and John and Daisy laughed. “Unfortunately, I inherited that from my mother, and I would not want to live my life based on what she has taught me. But yes, I'm good at it” She replied with a shrug, generating some tension on the table and keeping her serious face unchanging.

“Well, I'm going out for a while. Tomorrow is Sunday, and that means it is cleaning day. Each one is assigned a number of rooms and tasks to be done. I hope you are prepared to work hard, Valentina. On Monday morning we will start working on your album and practice the songs of the band, while we will spend the afternoon recording our album. There will be no rest here, little princess. You're warned” Juliana's arrogance made Valentina completely forget everything the others had told her. Again she felt that fire inside her, that desire to scream loudly at Juliana to stop being so damn petulant.

"Juls, are you really going out again?" John asked, he looked worried. "You should get some sleep, you know that" He added, watching his friend closely. Juliana did not answer, she disappeared down the hall and went up to her room, returning a few minutes later wearing tight dark jeans, a pair of converse and a black leather jacket. Her hair was loose, falling to the side and she looked really beautiful. Valentina had never been very conclusive about her sexuality, she had always been attracted to both men and women, but she had only dated boys. But she could distinguish perfectly that Juliana seemed attractive to her. Although it was a real shame the girl was so annoying, she thought.

Juliana left, and Valentina helped John and Daisy wash everything they had used for dinner, while they continued talking about the band and asking Valentina everything they could about her career and her family. Being with them felt light, as if she could take off for a while all the burden on her shoulders and she loved that.

"Well, I think we can officially welcome you to the fucked up kids club" John said after Valentina told them about the death of her grandparents and her parents, and everything that had led her to dive into alcohol. "So now you must listen to our anthem" John stood up and placed a disk on the console that was near the table. And just by listening to the first chords, Valentina understood what Guille meant when he told her that he had never heard anything like that.

There's a crowd inside, free in spirit   
Nothing dazzling in appearance  
We do the best with… With what we have 

It was a completely unusual rock, fresh but classic at the same time. Unexpected.

We aren't models, we aren't actors   
We are those who sit up in the rafters   
After all, that's where you will find the action 

The song obviously talked about them, and that excited her.

We're searching for something   
Just trying to make it happen   
We listen to no one   
Don't forget we won't forgive   
They'll write a story of the lives we lived 

Fucked up Kids

Valentina laughed at that phrase. She did not understand how in spite of everything they had lived they could remain positive and somehow laugh at themselves.

There's a place for you and all my friends  
When the sun falls down a new day begins  
Where feeling good is good enough

Take a left on College Avenue  
And call your friends they can all come too  
They'll write a story of the lives we lived. Me, you 

The sound was captivating, and John's voice sounded perfectly with that style. Even without seeing him performing, Valentina could tell he had a special magnetism for that.

We're searching for something   
Just trying to make it happen  
We listen to no one   
Don't forget we won't forgive   
They'll write a story of the lives we lived 

Fucked up Kids  
It wasn't that the boy had an exceptional voice, just the way he pronounced the words through the song was totally different from anything else Valentina had heard. And the lyrics and music were special.

I am alone but I'm not lonely   
No, It's nothing personal   
I prefer to do things on my own  
And even though nobody knows it   
No, I'm not lonely. No, I'm raw, and invincible

We are alone but we’re not lonely   
No, It's nothing personal   
We prefer to do things on our own   
And even though nobody knows it   
No, we’re not lonely. No, we’re raw, and invincible 

"What do you think?" John asked smiling at Valentina's surprised face. The brunette could not help smiling too, although she did not want to admit that her brother had been absolutely right in telling her that she would learn a lot with them, and mainly with Juliana.

"Not bad" She replied, trying to sound relaxed. "Juliana wrote the lyrics and the music?" She wanted to know everything that song was hiding about the mysterious girl. “John and I… We are not good at writing. We help Juls to compose, but it's definitely not our thing. Or at least, not compared to her. Juliana is, how to describe it? She's a musical genius” John nodded at what Daisy said.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Valentina spent a little more time with Daisy and John talking and listening to other songs they had recorded, and then went up to her room ready to finally rest. She had been from one place to another days and she needed to sleep. She lay on the bed and closed her eyes, thinking about how much things had changed in her life from one moment to the next after the death of her father, how she was off for a year while recovering in rehab, and now everything took a new unexpected turn. But she needed this to be a good one, She would give everything to make it happen. It was a second chance and she couldn't miss it.

She did not remember when she had fallen asleep and had no idea what time it was, when she heard noises in the bathroom next to her room. She knew that the room next to hers and her own shared that space, but she had no idea who of the other was there. She approached slowly and knocked on the door. “Daisy? John?” There was no answer, but a few seconds later someone opened it.

Juliana was again wearing a shirt too big for her body, this time from a band that Valentina failed to recognize. It was a gray color worn and sleeveless, she could the strong and tanned arms of the other girl perfectly. Juliana was not wearing anything under the shirt, as far as Valentina could observe. She leaned against the door, watching the brunette and smiled seeing how she was studying her.

"Everything okay?" Juliana asked, making Valentina finally look her in the eye. When the brown and crystalline blue were mixed, she could once again feel something she could not describe but was stronger than anything she had ever experienced. There was something about Juliana, behind her seriousness and coldness, hidden in that sad and sensitive look that intrigued her and she wouldn't stop until she found out what it was.

“No… I'm sorry, I think I got a little scared. Sorry. I didn't know... " She stopped talking when she noticed a small red mark on Juliana's neck. "That we would share the bathroom" Valentina concluded almost in a whisper.

"Apparently so. John and Daisy are on the other side, so this is ours. I'm going to sleep, we don't have much rest left”. Juliana said and went out the other door, plunging into the darkness of her room. Valentina simply stayed in her spot, barely breathing, feeling somewhat dizzy.

She returned to bed and took her phone, realizing that it was already 5 in the morning. She settled under the comforter and closed her eyes, falling asleep almost instantly.

Since her father's death, her dreams had always been quite similar and not at all pleasant. They weren't always the same, but every time she woke up, she felt bad. During rehabilitation she had managed to placate them with therapy, but occasionally they still returned and made her feel like she was drowning. But that night her mind completely surprised her. Brown eyes watched her as she sang on stage. A dim light shone on her and she couldn't see much beyond the microphone. Nor did there seem to be anything or anyone else around, just her, singing and a few steps behind, smiling from the side, Juliana.

Her expression was completely different from what Valentina had seen so far, she seemed happy, even proud, as if seeing the other girl sing filled her soul. Val smiled at her from the stage, then continued with her show, feeling the dark haired girl’s gaze on her giving her peace.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Strong noises took her out of the bubble in which she had sunk behind her eyelids. It had been a long time since she had slept so deeply and in peace. Valentina slowly opened her eyes, trying to get used to the light coming through the window through the curtains. The knocks insisted, so she stood up and walked towards the door, opening it loudly.

"Don't you let sleep here or what?" She asked as she met a smiling John on the other side. “It's already 9, and that means cleaning time. And you should be thankful that it's me who came to wake you up, because Juls would have been much less subtle. She is already down with breakfast served for us, but if we don’t go down in 10 minutes, war will unleashed” The boy left disappearing down the stairs and Valentina snorted. She crawled into the bathroom to do her morning routine and a few minutes later she was ready to meet the others in the dining room.

When she arrived, Daisy looked like a zombie stirring again and again the content of her cup with the lost look inside of it. John was sitting next to her, right in front of Juliana who drank coffee in silence while her friend talked non-stop.

"Look who decided to join us" Juliana said when she saw the young Carvajal. Valentina decided to ignore her and sat on one end, taking a cup and pouring herself some coffee from the center of the table. They had breakfast almost silently, except for John's comments, and until Juliana decided to divide the tasks.

“Well, I will finish washing everything from breakfast and then clean here in the kitchen, living room and dining room. Everyone will be in charge of their own rooms, as always. Valentina, since you share the bathroom with me, it will be your turn to clean it. John and Daisy will take care of theirs and guests. And then John will show you how to maintain the garden, while Daisy and I organized the study. Okay? ”Juliana didn't really seek the approval of others, Valentina could tell. But she had never done any of that in her life, how could she contradict her? So she simply nodded and everyone got going.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her room was already in very good condition, so she decided to start with the bathroom after John gave her the items she needed to clean it. And, for the first time in her life, Valentina realized how privileged her life had been. During their stay at the rehabilitation center they had assigned tasks and had to keep their rooms at line, but nothing like this. The young Carvajal had no idea of where to start or what to do. So she did the only thing she could think of: find a tutorial on the internet. Fortunately, there was one for almost anything, and cleaning the bathroom was no exception. At a slow pace and with some difficulty she managed to do it, finishing completely exhausted.

She went downstairs to find a completely gleaming house, and John sitting on the couch waiting for her to work in the garden. "It took you a while, huh?" The boy said with a laugh, and Valentina couldn't help accompanying him. "At least I did, didn't I?" She replied as he stood up and they headed outside.

Valentina had watched her grandmother for years taking care of the garden, so it was not so difficult to know what to do, although it was a much harder job. By the time they had finished, it was time for lunch and they came in to find the food already served by Juliana.

Once again, the brunette was completely surprised by the girl’s culinary skills, she wanted to know what else Juliana was passionate about, what other skills she had hidden and how she had acquired them. The more she plunged into the mystery around the dark-eyed girl, the more he marveled. It was someone so different from her, and that intrigued her as nothing.

"What if we all go for a walk?" John proposed when they had finished eating and lifted and washed everything from lunch. "I must work on some songs for Andy" Juliana said. "You can go out for a while, but Valentina has homework for tomorrow” She added, and the brunette looked at her in surprise. "Homework? Is this school or what?” She asked confused. "Well, for you, something like that" Juliana always petulant. “I want you to write some pages about what you would like your album to be about, and all the feelings or experiences you want to reflect on it. It is important that we have a basis on which to work” Valentina snorted in frustration, watching Juliana run away once again without paying attention to her or even asking her if she agreed to take things that way. Definitely working with her was not going to be easy, but she loved the challenges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> I really hope you all enjoy this chapter, it includes one of my fav songs of all time.
> 
> Remember to check the Perfectly Out of Key playlist on Spotify:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/14oVek600YetIxCuYl6sJC?si=Jy0sDpKxTiS8_Z597_oW2Q
> 
> And follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @MacaReynolds.
> 
> Bye!


	5. Disconnected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just want to live my life sedated 'cause I love driving myself away. Despite you know you say you don't give a damn. I can't comprehend what I understand”, Lindsay Lohan

"And? How was your first full day with the band?” It was late at night when Guille called Valentina to find out how it all had gone. The brunette had spent almost all day locked in her room, trying to decipher what she could write to surprise Juliana the next day on their first session of work together. But she hadn't come up with much, maybe even nothing. “Better than I expected, although I would have liked you to tell me something about their past, Guille. It was too much information at once” Val was still overwhelmed by the stories of her now housemates.

"I didn't want you to feel sorry for them, I know they wouldn't like that" Val smiled at her brother's words. She didn't know John, Daisy and Juliana that much, but it was obvious that they didn't feel sorry for themselves, so much less would they want someone else to do it. “I understand, but believe me, that's not what I feel. On the contrary, I admire them very much for everything they have achieved and that in spite of everything they’ve been through, they are so positive… Well, at least John and Daisy” She could feel how Guille laughed at that. “Juliana is going to surprise you Val, trust me. She may be hard at first, but if you already know something about her past, it is reasonable that she is, don't you think? ”

Val sighed, and after a little silence, she finally dared to ask what was going around in her head. "Hey, who is that Alex?" Guille remained in quiet for a few seconds, further increasing his sister's anxiety. “That is a complicated matter, Vale. I think it is best that you wait for them to want to tell you. Especially Juliana, okay? I gotta go now, Andy and I will pass by in a few days, before returning to LA. Rest little sister”.

"You too" She answered resigned before ending the call. She lay on the bed, trying once again to think about what Juliana had asked for, but she fell asleep long before she could even write something productive.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again, insistent knocks on her door woke her from a deep sleep. One thing was sure, even if she couldn't get out of there with an incredible album in her hands, at least she would have slept like she hadn't done for a long time. She opened her eyelids delicately, her blue eyes plunged into the still dark room. She stood up and, as had happened the day before, found a smiling John on the other side of the door.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty" Valentina could not understand how the boy could be in such a good mood so early in the morning. "You don't sleep here or what?" The girl asked turning her eyes. “We are very responsible and early risers. Daisy and I are going to work, we will come for lunch and bring food, because I don't think Juls will cook if she has to work with you. Breakfast is served, and our musical prodigy is already waiting for you in the studio. So, if I were you, I would hurry” The brunette sighed, mentally preparing herself for the other woman’s mood.

Half an hour later, Valentina opened the basement door to go down to the studio with a coffee in her hand, more asleep than awake, still wearing her pajamas with a sweatshirt on top. She hadn't reached down two steps when Juliana's voice rang all over the place. “You can't bring coffee here, or anything that can be spilled. You know, there is a sensitive and very expensive equipment” The young Carvajal growled in a low voice in frustration, the other girl had barely looked up to see her and had not even greeted her, and was already claiming her for things. She bit her lower lip to avoid saying something, turned around and left the room, returning seconds later without the cup. Juliana was still sitting on the sofa behind the microphone in the central part of the studio, with a guitar on her legs that were completely exposed. She was probably wearing something under the huge Joy Division shirt she were on top, but Valentina couldn't tell.

She walked towards the brunette still upset about what had happened before, and her anger only grew when she saw that Juliana acted as if she was not in the room. She sat in front of her, on the floor, with her legs crossed and took a deep breath, waiting for a reaction from her current co-worker. Juliana finished tuning the guitar and finally looked at her. "Did you do what I asked?" Valentina bit her lip again, extremely annoyed. Does this girl have no manners or what? She thought about Juliana’s obvious refusal to greet her.

"Good morning to you too, Juliana" She said trying to sound calm. Once again, she got no answer. “I couldn't think too much about what to write, but I did bring my notes from when I was at reha. Here I wrote when I needed to calm down” Valentina took a worn notebook from her sweatshirt pocket and handed it to the girl sitting in front of her, who was still looking at her without transmitting anything. Juliana took it without saying a word, opening it and stopping a few minutes to observe its contents.

Anxiety began to invade Valentina. Although there was nothing concrete written there, it was her deepest feelings she had written during one of the most difficult moments of her life, and she was giving them to a stranger. A stranger who was not pleasant at all and did not seem worried about feeling any empathy for her. The brunette looked at Juliana intensely, watching her brown eyes get lost in the pages of the notebook. That was the only place where the dark haired girl was expressing something, she could tell how under those long eyelashes there was pain that reflected the words she used to make her days in Canada easier to carry.

Juliana took a deep breath while paying special attention to a page, Valentina studied each of her movements. The other girl soaked her lips gently with her tongue and slightly tightened her jaw, closed her eyes and opened them a few seconds later, to find them with Valentina's eyes watching her expectantly. "You repeated this word a few times" She said jokingly, but without laughing. The brunette raised her head a little to see what she meant. She couldn't help smiling, not because it was a beautiful memory, totally the opposite, she just didn't remember doing that. It was a page where she had written the same word over and over again.

“I think that was during one of the first days. I felt a little ... Well, too overwhelmed by the whole situation. I was upset with my siblings, my friends, with myself, and with everyone in that place because I couldn't connect with them. With nobody. It was ..." She took a deep breath, "It was difficult" Juliana nodded slowly, as if she truly understood what Valentina was saying.

“Let's work with this then. I want you to go to the depths of those days, what you were feeling and what this word means” Valentina's breathing began to shake just thinking about having to remember all those moments. "I know it is not easy to be vulnerable in front of me, Val" The brunette was surprised at the nickname, and her heart beat even faster "But exposing the worst versions of yourself is essential to make music. I'm not going to ask you to trust me, but trust in what you’ve been through and how that can help you write the best album of your career” Juliana smiled, and Valentina was surprised at how comforting that gesture was in the other girl.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well, I think we got it. Do you want to play it all together?” Juliana spoke after almost 3 hours of non-stop work. Valentina was surprised at how well things had flowed between them. Juliana was very calm and relaxed, she took her time with everything she did and that was just what the brunette needed to calm her anxiety. Her entire career she had worked at full speed, without stopping to enjoy anything. It was obvious that Juliana was very different and liked to set her own pace for everything.

"Yes, let’s do it" Valentina finally answered trying to calm her nerves. She had not sung in a long time, much less for someone else. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, staying that way as she listened as Juliana played the first notes. When it was time to act, she opened them again and decided to release all her tension and enjoy returning to her great love: music.

Sleeping awake and awake when I'm sleeping  
I've got a dry kind of thirst when drenched  
All sunny days all I can see is the shadow  
And I'm not above being under

For a moment, even Juliana had disappeared from the room. Valentina felt herself floating inside her, traversing the corners she had abandoned for so long.  
And I'm at the brink though I know that I'm empty   
And I always hide when it's my turn to seek  
My only belief is not to have faith in believing   
Before I begin I'm over. Disconnected   
Broken off again   
And I'm only not lonely when I'm lonely by myself   
Now the pain again I always backtrack forward   
Cause all I know I'm Disconnected 

It felt like a liberation to be able to express those feelings that she had pushed and hidden in the only way she had really learned to deal with everything. Singing  
Quietly loud while I'm noisily silent   
Keep holding my breath while I'm trying to breath  
Swimming against all of the waves and the rapids   
I only win when I'm losing. Disconnected   
Broken off again   
And I'm only not lonely when I'm lonely by myself   
Now the pain again I always backtrack forward   
Cause all I know I'm Disconnected   
I just want to live my life sedated   
'cause I love driving myself away   
Despite you know you say you don't give a damn   
I can't comprehend what I understand   
Disconnected   
Broken off again   
And I'm only not lonely when I'm lonely by myself   
Now the pain again I always backtrack forward  
Cause all I know I'm Disconnected 

She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so light, so safe and in control of something. She had closed her eyes again in the middle of the song, letting herself be carried away by her own emotions and Juliana's music. When she opened them, she found an intense look on the other side and this time the emotion was impossible to hide.  
“It's definitely a shame your last albums were disgusting. You're good Valentina, you really are and I hope you can believe it. If this song is just the beginning of what we will do together, you already have my interest. And I don't give that just to anyone” Juliana spoke with a certainty and firmness that made Valentina tremble, but at the same time her words expressed sweetness and admiration. The brunette watched her confused but satisfied, thinking that the other girl was right, if that was the beginning they would go very far indeed.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the morning was spent adjusting details in the song and recording some tests. They would record the entire album when everything was ready, but Juliana wanted to have some basic tracks. Seeing her work was a unique experience for Valentina. Undoubtedly, the girl knew exactly what she was doing and what she was looking for, and how to help the brunette get the best out of her.  
"I'm sure Daisy and John have already shown you our anthem, right?" Juliana asked as they rested for a moment on the couch. "Yes" Valentina nodded, smiling. “I like your style, it's…” She didn't know what word to use to describe what she had heard that night after dinner. "Different? This is what your brother calls it” Val laughed, feeling Juliana slowly relaxing and the atmosphere became much more enjoyable among them. "I don't know if that's good or bad, but I'm sure I don't want us to be like everyone else, so I take it as a compliment" Juliana smiled proudly and the brunette looked at her. There was something in Juliana's smile that gave her peace.  
"It's definitely a good thing" She said after a few seconds. Both smiled and silence invaded them. Time seemed to have stopped completely and the air around them became thick. Juliana was the first to break contact, standing up and walking towards one of the consoles. Valentina watched her walk away, stopping on her long tanned legs that contrasted with the white of her shirt.  
“I'm going to put the track of the song the guys showed you. Ready to play?” The dark haired girl asked while still on her back while placing a disc. “I'm going to give you the beat on the drums so you can follow me. The music sheet is already in front of you” She pointed to the electric guitar that was standing to the right of the drums. Valentina got up from the couch and walked until she could take the instrument feeling nervous again. Juliana was a prodigy, playing in front of her would be a disaster. But she had to do it.  
She placed the tape that held the guitar over he shoulder, adjusted the sound and watched the sheet carefully as Juliana walked to the drums and sat down, holding the control of the console in her hands. Valentina's hands were sweating and she had no idea how she was going to play properly, but she was dying to share that with Juliana and later with the others.  
"Ready?" Juliana asked holding the control up, ready to start. Valentina closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath and nodded. It was difficult at first to get in rhythm and follow Juliana, who played the drums the same way she did with the piano and guitar, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for her, like breathing. The brunette was lost trying to concentrate on the track, the beats of Juliana and following the notes, but when she came in tune once again she was surprised by how organic it felt as if she and Juliana were always following the same line when It was about music. As if they were no longer strangers at the time they played together.  
It was a style she had never tried, it required a skill she didn't know she had, but it felt amazing, like playing with her grandfather again, like the sessions she had observed being little in that same place. Music as art and expression, and nothing else.  
The last beat of the drums took Valentina out of her trance and she found herself smiling as she had not done for a long time, happy for all she had accomplished in one morning. She imagined Guille's face of satisfaction when she admitted that he was right. She was so focused thinking about that, she didn't realize that Juliana was standing right behind her, until she felt her warm breath on her neck.  
"You must make some adjustments in the return" Valentina felt a chill run down her back when she heard Juliana talking so close to her. She stood still, unable to react to the proximity with the other girl. Juliana raised her arm and Valentina watched in slow motion as she approached to slightly turn one of the knobs of the guitar, barely touching her body. Without moving her hand, she spoke again. "Try to play the bridge now" It took her a few seconds to understand what Juliana was asking, but she composed herself and did it, although it was very difficult to concentrate.  
"It sounded much better, don't you think?" Juliana asked walking away to face Valentina, behind the sheets. The young Carvajal nodded, feeling her breath slowly recover.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A while later, Daisy and John returned from work with lunch, ready to work together. Valentina and Juliana had managed to practice enough so that they could start recording after rehearsing a bit, to see how she managed to engage with the rest of the group. While they were eating, the brunette told the others about the song they had written, but again Juliana kept silent and had returned to be distant and reserved as before. Val had hoped that after working so well together, the other girl would let go a little more, but it was obvious that it would not be so simple.  
They all went back down to the studio, Daisy taking place behind the drums this time, John in front of the main microphone with the bass, and she and Juliana on each side of the singer. It took them a few attempts to get used to playing with Valentina, and mainly to make their voices sound good together. Juliana was in charge of most of the choirs, so there wasn't much that young Carvajal had to contribute in that area. But playing with a band, being part of it and not being just a complement, I felt completely different.  
When they had finally managed to synchronize, a few hours had gone by, but they really sounded amazing. There was an energy in the room that was difficult to describe for Valentina. She had spent years in recording studios, had fulfilled her deepest dreams in those places, but even when she sat down full afternoons there with her grandfather while teaching her to play and compose, she had never experienced something like that. The group had a very special vibe, they knew each other perfectly and it showed, and each one was lost individually when they played, but somehow it seemed that it was something they did together. She couldn't help wondering what it would be like when they could sing and play live. She was happy to be the one who gave them the opportunity to debut on stage and amaze the audience with their music, it would certainly be unforgettable.  
But without a doubt what had made her feel better was Juliana's face. SheI could tell how the dark haired girl was watching her from time to time while rehearsing, and smiling slyly. Valentina felt a little intimidated at first, but then she realized that they were validation looks, to reassure her and let her know that she was doing things right and that was something she needed. Knowing that she could do things the right way again and feel like herself again.  
“Well, I think we're pretty good” Juliana said after they managed to record two differente takes of the whole song and decided to take a break. “We could now record each part individually, right?” She suggested. Everyone agreed, so Juliana decided that she would prepare dinner while the others worked on their recordings and after eating, she would make her own.  
\-------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Again at dinner, Juliana was the same as always. Valentina began to understand that music was the only thing that could change her mood, tear down the walls she built around her for a few minutes to protect herself from the rest of the world. Fortunately, that was what would keep them together all the time, so as long as they worked together it would be her mission to take every opportunity to get to know Juliana more.  
John and Valentina cleaned and washed everything after diner, while Juliana was in the studio and Daisy was getting ready to sleep. "How was your day? You seem a little less nervous around Juliana, that's good” The brunette smiled at the boy's comment. She was definitely no longer feeling so intimidated by the other gi, although she could not help thinking that she was evaluating her permanently.  
“I think it was much less terrible than I imagined. I didn't think it would be so easy for us to work together. But I still feel her a little hostile” John smiled back. “Believe me, we have all felt this way with her. Just give it some time. But there is a good vibe between you two, I can feel it, it shows in the air. Be patient, I'm sure you will even end up being good friends” The boy seemed really sure of what he said, and Valentina wanted to trust him. She really wanted it. She could feel that Juliana was one of those people she needed in her life, her and the other two. That they would help her, as had not happened with her friends or even her boyfriend in the past. Maybe that was what Guille wanted with all this, for her to trust people who were worth it, that would make her good.  
“Well, since we're done here, I'm going to take a bath. Daisy must have finished and I want to go to sleep early, today was a long day”. “Hey, where do you two work? I’ve never asked, sorry”  
“We help in the kitchen of a restaurant nearby. We serve breakfast and help to prepare lunch. The owner is a very kind and sweet old lady we met in our first days at this house. We used to work together, the three of us, but now Juls is always composing for the label, so she doesn't have much time. Good evening, Val” John disappeared down the hall seconds later.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
After talking on the phone with Guille and Eva from the living room, Valentina was ready to finally go to bed. However, she recalled that Juliana had not yet left the studio. She approached slowly and saw that the recording sign was not on, so she decided to sneak in, as she had done the first time they had met. Inside she found a familiar image. Juliana was sitting on the bench in front of the microphone, with the guitar on her lap, with her eyes completely closed and singing, something that sounded very different from what the band played, much more like the style of the song she had heard the day she arrived. The brunette could not help losing herself again on the performance, watching carefully.  
Maybe I was right, loving you was wrong  
You got me in your hand, heart beating like a drum   
How did I not see this?   
Only passing through. Only passing through  
Juliana’s fingers gilded with skill and softness on the strings, but also with anger and pain.

Fire in your eyes   
Embers they burn inside   
Ashes make me choke   
Still I'm breathing in your smoke 

Valentina could feel the contempt in each word that came from Juliana's mouth as if it were her own, every phrase she uttered in her husky voice.

Nothing left to lose   
Nobody can win   
It's hard to pass you by   
With time ticking' like a sin   
I watch from the outside  
Shadow of a doubt   
Someone help me out 

Valentina bit her lower lip, containing her desire to speak, to interrupt the moment she was living just to tell Juliana that if someone had made her suffer, then that person did not deserve her.

Fire in your eyes   
Embers they burn inside   
Ashes make me choke   
Still I'm breathing in your smoke   
How did I not see this?   
Only passing through. You’re only passing through 

Fire in your eyes  
Embers they burn inside   
Ashes make me choke   
Still I'm breathing in your smoke   
How did I not see this?   
Only passing through. You’re only passing through 

"Wow" Valentina spoke before Juliana could noticed her presence and get upset. The other girl looked up and, to the brunette's surprise, smiled. "Spying me again?" She asked, standing up to leave the guitar and approaching the stairs, while Valentina slowly descended. “Do you suffer from paranoia or something? I wasn't spying on you, not even before, just watching you. Listening” She replied once both were facing each other.

Juliana seemed to tense at the question, and without answering or commenting on anything, she walked to the sofa, leaning completely on it. Valentina approached, sitting as she had done that same morning, facing Juliana on the floor. After a few minutes, the dark haired girl broke the silence. "Maybe" She said staring at the ceiling, without looking at Valentina. "What are you talking about?" The brunette wanted to know. “That I may be paranoid. Wouldn't you be if someone had stolen your songs?” Valentina didn't know what to answer. Juliana's comment took her absolutely by surprise.

Minutes passed until she could finally process what she had heard. "Who stole your songs, Juls?" Valentina watched her intensely as she waited for the answer. "The one that took everything" Was all Juliana said, before getting up and going up stairs, leaving Valentina completely confused and alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the delayed, my chromebook (which is where I write) has no charger cause I broke it and I'm waiting for the new one to arrive, so I have to work and write on other places and it's awfull. But here's a new chapter, hopefuy I'll get to give yyou another one whis week.
> 
> Remember to check out the spotify playlist for this fic:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/11170452022/playlist/14oVek600YetIxCuYl6sJC
> 
> And to follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @ MacaReynolds.
> 
> See ya!


	6. Black Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Have you fallen in a black hole? Somewhere there’s a universe of missing stuff. What happened to the good times? What happened to the moments when we had so much? Where’s the love?", Lindsay Lohan

Routines were something that had helped Valentina a lot to stay healthy during her time at rehab, and they were also something that her guides and consultants have encouraged to stay sober and not lose her mind. The first days in Canada had been really hard, and adapting to a lifestyle that was so different from what she had experienced was even harder. However, soon enough, she was truly grateful to be busy and to always have something to do.

Something very similar was happening to her now in her new home. Juliana, John and Daisy had their schedules very well controlled and marked, it seemed that the house worked like a clock. And, although at the beginning it was not easy to adjust to the routine of the house, by the seventh day of living together everything had changed. That morning, Valentina did not have to wait for John to knock on her door before leaving to work to wake her up. On the contrary, the brunette was ready long before the boy and his sister went down to breakfast.

She woke up early, took a bath and went down the stairs to the kitchen, while some music was sounding in the background, something she had never expected to hear there: bachata. When she reached her destination, she found an image that made her smile. Juliana was cooking in front of the stove in a small pan, while moving gracefully to the rhythm of the music. Completely lost in her world, the dark haired girl never noticed Valentina leaning against the entrance, watching her carefully. Juliana didn't seem like the type of person who enjoyed dancing, so it was a surprise for young Carvajal to see her that way, with such naturalness and joy as she sang the romantic lyrics of the song with energy and passion.

She was completely lost in the movement of Juliana’s exposed legs under the huge shirt she was wearing, her golden skin shining with the morning sun. Her bare feet moved deftly on the ground, while her hips wiggled to the rhythm of the music with sensuality. Although she could not see her face, Valentina could tell Juliana was smiling, and she could not help doing so by imagining the expression on the other girl's face as she continued to study her carefully. For a few seconds, she had the urgent desire to approach and glue her body to hers, even though she did not consider herself a good dancer.

After the last notes sounded, Juliana remained in her place still preparing breakfast, and Valentina decided to give notice of her presence by clearing her throat. The other girl turned around surprised, her jaw tightened and her expression changed completely. Juliana said nothing, just turned back and continued what she was doing. The brunette smiled behind her, trying to contain the laughter.

"Good morning" she said, still holding the smile that had formed on her face. Juliana issued an almost inaudible answer. "Do you need help?" Nothing. Absolute silence. And what had seemed funny a few seconds ago, now it irritated her, why did Juliana have to be like that? She thought as she walked to the dining room, moving away from the other girl before losing her patience.

A few minutes later, John and Daisy came down and were surprised to find their new housemate ready to share breakfast with them. The four ate in silence, because they were all too sleepy to talk.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once the John and Daisy left, Valentina helped Juliana lift and wash the dishes, and they went to the studio to continue working on the song they had abandoned the day before, the third they had managed to compose together.

When they worked, everything was fine, it seemed that this was the only language in which they truly understood each other. Everything flowed between them. But Valentina felt that she had exposed a lot about her when writing, and instead Juliana seemed to be closing more and more and that really bothered the brunette. Valentina kept repeating that in order to truly connect with the music, that she had to be as vulnerable as possible, but Juliana never followed her own advice.

The first hour in the study was hard, because they couldn't find a rhythm that Valentina liked and Juliana seemed impatient. The atmosphere was tense, and it seemed that neither of them was willing to give in to make things better.

“You're distracted, Valentina, that's the real problem. I can't work this way”Juliana took a deep breath trying to let her frustration out, after throwing the fifth score sheet in the trash. The young Carvajal looked at her really annoyed, she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

“Am I distracted? No Juliana, the problem here is that you forget that this is my album and it has to include the music that I think best identifies me and the lyrics that I consider appropriate for my fans and what I want to tell. This is not your band, this is your job. I want this album to talk about me, not you.” Valentina was very angry, and she felt she couldn't breathe.

“Well, I remind you that the first thing I asked you was to write about what you expected from this album and how you wanted it to be, guess what? You didn't do it. So now you can't come to claim me. This might be my job, but I'm not your slave, princess. When you calm down and put matters into perspective, we will continue. Until then, I'm leaving” And, without even letting Valentina respond, Juliana ran up the stairs leaving the other girl completely confused and furious in the study.

"This has to be a joke" Valentina said to herself as she climbed in search of Juliana. "Juliana, come back here" She shouted as she left, but she found an empty hallway and the sound of a door slamming shut. She sighed in frustration and returned to the studio, determined to continue her work, not caring that she had to do it alone. She was going to show everyone, and especially Juliana, that she was also talented and didn't need anyone else.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, things didn't go as expected. She was so mad at Juliana that she could barely play some notes on the guitar or piano. She wanted to run upstairs and shout at her, make her react. She dropped on the couch and closed her eyes for some inspiration and to calm down, but it was in vain. So he decided to walk up the house, let herself be invaded by the memories around the place.

The first thing that got to her was the sound of the banjo one summer afternoon. Her grandfather was sitting in one of the park chairs, playing some loose notes while Valentina watched him fascinated. Eva and Guille fought to climb the swing that hung from the tree, but she only cared about music. That was one of the first memories she had from when she was little. Music. The next thing she could see in her head was her 5th birthday, when she got her first guitar in her hands. She couldn't remember which was the first song she had been taught, not even the color of the instrument. But the feeling of holding it was as alive as it was then.

Before she knew it, she had left the house and was in front of the swing. And there she remembered it. She approached the tree and found the mark she was looking for, a cluster of land a little drier than the rest. She rummaged a little and did not take long to find it. After her mother died, Eva proposed to make a small trip to her grandparents' house so they all could be a little calmer. Once there, Guille had the idea of making a time capsule, so that the next time they returned they could find some beautiful memories in that place. The capsule was a lunchbox that had already erased drawings, but if Valentina remember correctly, they were from Mickey, since he was her brother's favorite character when he was little. The brunette smiled at the memory. She opened it with difficulty, and could not hold back the tears when the first thing she found was a picture of her, her mother, her siblings and her father sitting in the shade of that same tree.

Next to the photograph, there were others, some postcards, letters, magnets, and a pin that her mother had given to Eva when she turned 15. She held the box tightly in her chest and held onto the tree to let out all the anguish in a heartbreaking cry. The sobs did not let her breathe, and the memories did not allow her to think of more than the pain generated by knowing that she would never see either her mother or her father again.

With the box in her hand, she returned to the studio. Valentina was still upset with Juliana, but she would follow her advice and not lose that moment of vulnerability. And even if she hated to admit it, there was no doubt the other girl was right. When she got back to work, the music flowed smoothly. She was sad but motivated.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
She lost track of time and space, and it was not until the sound of her phone pulled her out of her trance, near noon, that she stopped for a moment. She got up from the floor leaving the score sheets and the guitar behind, and took the cell phone.

"Hello little brother" She replied, trying to sound calm as she returned to her place to continue working while talking on the phone. "Hi, Vale" Guille said on the other side of the line. “I'm sorry I couldn't call before, it's been a very busy day. How is everything over there?” The brunette frowned at the question, should she tell her what had happened? It would be better not to, she thought. "Very well, we are making great progress" It was not a lie, and that comforted her.

"Great. Hey, I don't have much time, we wanted to stop by with Andy before we left but it will be impossible. Anyway, I will return next week because I have a surprise for Daisy on her birthday, although it will really be a gift for all of you”Guille sounded excited.

"Aren't you going to tell me what it is?" Valentina had never liked surprises, she was too anxious for that. “No, you will have to wait. I love you, goodbye” Guille replied before she could even claim him.

After talking with her brother, she felt much calmer and relaxed, so she continued working at a more serene pace. Every so often, she went back to check the box of memories to flood a little more into them and get carried away. She had learned that it was not bad to feel sad, but that she had to find a way to transform that into something positive, and that was what she wanted to do.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When John and Daisy came back home, Valentina was still locked in the studio and Juliana in her room. They called them to eat all together, but the dark haired girl decided not to go down. Val preferred not to talk about it, she was still upset. Juliana was being childish, she would have to see her face anyway to be able to rehearse minutes later, what was the point of ignoring her? Valentina really tried to be understanding but it was difficult with the attitude that the other girl adopted.

After lunch and washing up, everyone went down to the studio and Juliana joined them a few minutes later, without even looking at Valentina. The brunette felt that her anger was growing within her again, but she did not want to give Juliana the satisfaction of her actions affected her. So she simply prepared to do what she should. The rehearsal was quiet, although a bit awkward since none of them wanted to talk too much. The young Carvajal had a hard time getting into the vibe of the rest of the group, but she did it much faster than the previous days. They were beginning to sound and look like a real band. They were able to record two versions of the song before it was time for dinner, for which they decided to order pizza because nobody wanted to cook.

After dinner, John and Daisy went up to their rooms to rest. Although the next day was Saturday, they had to work and were exhausted. Juliana stayed in the kitchen finishing ordering and cleaning everything, while Valentina returned to the studio to finish her song.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The brunette sat on the piano delicately, ready to play at once what she had been working on all day. She was very happy with the result, it felt that that song truly reflected part of her and was exactly what she needed for her new album, and also to give her soul some peace. She needed the music to feel like her own again.

I found that box of letters lying on the ground   
The ones you used to write me before it all went down   
I even got a papercut trying to figure out   
What to do with all these memories   
And you're not who you used to be   
And I wonder where your gone

Have you fallen in a black hole?   
Somewhere there's a universe of missing stuff   
What happened to the good times?   
What happened to the moments where we had so much?   
Where's the love?

Remember all those hours laughing on the floor  
Those days of doing nothing feel like nothing did before   
I don't need those sneakers or that money after all   
I'll trade them for old message you've called 

'Cause it's not how we used to feel  
And I wonder what went wrong

Have you fallen in a black hole?   
Somewhere there's a universe of missing stuff  
What happened to the good times?   
What happened to the moments where we had so much?   
Where's the love? 

I wanna go there, and I wanna know where   
Everything that meant something to me is all 

I found that box of letters, used to make me smile  
But now I feel so lonely 

Have you fallen in a black hole?Somewhere there's a universe of missing stuff What happened to the good times?   
What happened to the moments where we had so much?   
Where's the love? 

When she finished playing, she kept her eyes closed for a moment while some tears rolled down her cheeks. She takes a deep breath and leaned her forehead against the piano, trying to contain her sobs and everything she was feeling at that moment.

"Did you write that today?" A voice pulled her out of her trance. She looked up and met Juliana standing on the stairs, watching her closely. Their eyes met and a strange sense of comfort ran through the brunette's body. Juliana, as always, had her expressionless face but Valentina could notice a special glow in her eyes even in the distance.

"Yes" she replied, somewhat nervously, despite being angry, she desperately wanted the other girl's approval. She was dying to feel like she could recognize her talent and also wanted an apology, although she was convinced that she wouldn't get it.

Juliana finished walking down the stairs and approached cautiously without taking her eyes off Valentina. She began to walk in circles, moving her hands, speaking to herself. The brunette looked at her strangely and confused. She had no idea what was happening.

"I ..." Juliana began to speak with a low voice. “Sorry about this morning. I'm not always like that, I swear. It's just that… Well, I'm not having a great time and it's hard… It's really hard to trust others” Valentina could see how much it cost her to express what she was saying.

"It's fine I understand it. I'm not having a great time, either” She said smiling. "What's that?" Juliana asked, pointing at the small box that was still on the couch. Valentina had hidden it when they rehearsed in the afternoon, but at that time she had checked it again for more inspiration.

Valentina took a deep breath before answering, she didn't want to cry in front of the other girl. “It is a box of memories. Something like a time capsule. My siblings and I had buried it here some years ago. I had really forgotten that it existed until today” Juliana remained silent for a long time, studying Valentina, who also watched her intensely trying to decipher what she was thinking.

"I would like to compensate you for not helping you today, although I think it was a good decision judging by what you wrote" Valentina observed her surprised, but satisfied with the comment. "Do you feel like going out for a while?" Juliana asked extending her hand. The brunette took it without hesitation.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Two hours later, Valentina was dragged once again by Juliana with her hands intertwined, in the middle of the dance floor of a disco some streets away from the house. The town center had changed a lot since the last time the young Carvajal had been there, and she could tell how the night activity had grown considerably since then. They had managed to quickly enter the place, since Juliana seemed to know all the employees. They did not have to wait in line, because the security guard let them in as soon as he saw the dark haired girl.

When they took their first steps inside the place, Valentina couldn't help smiling when she heard bachata sounding loud and remember how that morning she had seen Juliana dancing happily to that same sound. Juliana wasted no time and took them to the center of the space, crossing the sea of dancing bodies. She stopped and turned to see Valentina in the eyes before gently approaching her ear.

"Ready?" He whispered in his hoarse voice and Valentina felt a chill run down every inch of her body reacting to her proximity to Juliana. The other girl took one of her hands and placed it on her hip, while with the other she was still bound to the chestnut. Val placed her own free hand on Juliana's shoulder but stood still without knowing what else to do. I had never danced a rhythm like that.

"I don't know how to dance this" she said nervously. Juliana smiled and approached her ear gently again. "Just follow me" She said, and glued their bodies even more. Valentina felt like she was floating, she was completely lost in the movements guided by Juliana. She had no idea what she was doing, and she was sure that she would not learn to dance that way, but she got carried away. The songs passed and every second that her skin would brushed against other girl’s it felt magical, her sweet aroma intoxicated her in a way she had never felt. Valentina wanted time to stop there forever, at that moment and in that place.

She could feel the smile on Juliana's face and as her hand slowly ventured to travel across every part of Valentina’s back causing her to lose her breath. But it wasn't enough for the brunette, she wanted more, she needed more. In slow motion, she turned her face away so he could look at the other girl in the eye. She melted for what seemed like an eternity in the dark chocolate color beneath those long, delicate eyelashes, and her breathing was shaking at every moment. Her heart was galloping at full speed, it seemed about to get out of her chest. Then, the smile on her dance partner's face vanished completely as the world around them faded away, both of them were now looking at each other with serious expressions, only centimeters away. Their faces getting closer, their breaths mixing. Valentina couldn't help closing her eyes, waiting for the clash of her lips with Juliana's. But I never happened.

"Juliana Valdés" A female voice burst into the bubble they had managed to create, absorbed by space and time. Valentina opened her eyes and turned to meet a young girl with silky blond hair that fell gracefully on one of her shoulders. Her green eyes sparkled amusedly looking at Juliana with a mischievous smile on her lips.

"Andrea, how are you?" Juliana was tense at the presence of the other girl, but did not release Valentina, although there was a considerable distance between them now. "Very well, returning to the dance floor" The girl looked at Valentina from the corner of her eyes. "She is Valentina" Juliana introduced them, and they both smiled kindly. "You haven't heard from Alex?" The simple mention of that name not only had an immediate effect on Juliana, who became extremely serious, but also on Valentina who was increasingly curious about that woman, the one that no one wanted to talk about.

"No" Juliana replied coldly, avoiding Valentina's gaze, who already considered herself really uncomfortable with the whole situation. "I see" Andrea said, with a grimace on her face. “Dani said you’ve been coming here very often in recent weeks, even to sing. I hope I don't miss your next presentation. Maybe tomorrow?” Valentina was even more confused, and although she looked for answers in Juliana, the other girl refused to look at her.

"Maybe, I don't know" Juliana replied simply. Andrea nodded and then turned her eyes to Valentina. “Well, it was nice meeting you, Valentina. And to see you again, Juliana. See you soon” She walked away losing herself among the people, and that was when Juliana released Valentina. "Do you want to drink something?" She asked nervous to the brunette. "Water" Valentina replied, still confused by what had just happened. Juliana smiled. "I know, let's go" She entwined their fingers once more as they walked away.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They were sitting at one of the tables at the disco, each with a bottle of water in their hands, observing each other without saying a word. Valentina, once again, had thousands of questions for Juliana but was afraid to ask them. There was so much she didn't know about that girl, and what disturbed her the most was the fact that she wanted to know everything about her. But Juliana seemed unwilling to deliver anything, much less that night. The brunette made peace with her own mind, feeling that it had been enough that Juliana had apologized and taken her there.

"Shall we go back? I'm tired” Juliana finally said, breaking the silence. Valentina sighed in frustration, knowing that that would truly be all she would get that night. "Sure, let’s go" She replied and got up, but this time Juliana didn't take her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm back.
> 
> Sorry for the delay, it's been a crazy month. I finished the spanish version of this a couple of days ago, but couldn't translate it sooner, so here it is. I might have another chapter for tomorrow so, be ready.
> 
> You can listen to all the songs that have already appeared in the fanfic here:  
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/14oVek600YetIxCuYl6sJC?si=1eDAowvLQACqtrh0-q1W-w
> 
> Follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @macareynolds.
> 
> See ya!


	7. Kennedy Curse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “In a dream she's talking dirty to me just in a language that I can't speak. Then she kisses my scars as she cuts out my heart, and she places it right on her sleeve”, The Maine

As they walked back into the house, the silence was umberrable for Valentina. She wanted to talk to Juliana so bad, but the other girl seemed off, even more than ever before. They walk through the hallway to the stairs, but as the brunette took the first steps to go into her room, she saw Juliana walking away to the studio.

“You are not going to sleep?” Valentina asked confused. “No, I’ll go downstairs for a while” Juliana replied without stopping, opening the door to the basement and stepping in, not looking at Valentina once. The young Carvajal sighted, but she turned around to follow Juliana. She had convinced herself to let things go for the night, but she couldn’t help it. 

As she walked in, she saw Juliana picking up one of the guitars, the one she always used, and then sat on the bench. Their eyes meet when Valentina reached the floor, and the young Carvajal was surprised to see that the other girl didn’t look mad and didn’t try to send her away. Juliana remained in silence, while Valentina stood in front of her, uncertain of what to say or what to do.

“Do you ever sleep?” The brunette finally asked, breaking the silence between them. Juliana smiled shyly. “I have some trouble sleeping, yeah” She responded. “I used to have those too” Valentina confessed. “So, what are you going to do?” She bite her lip anxiously staring right into the other girl’s dark eyes. 

Juliana stared back for a moment, uncertain of what to respond. “Work on some music. That’s what I do when I can’t sleep” Valetina thought carefully about what to say next. “Well, I'm wide awake now so maybe we could write some music together or…” She bite the inside of her cheek playfully, and Juliana couldn’t help but smile a little. “Or what?” The dark haired girl asked intrigued.

Valentina smiled back. “Let’s play a game” She proposed jumping on her feet, while Juliana looked at her confused. “A game?” She asked. “Yes. I would say 20 questions but I’m pretty sure you’ll say no, so, how about we make it 5? I’ll ask you 5 questions and you can ask me 5 too, we’ll take turns” Juliana remained in silence, figuring the whole thing out in her mind. “Please?” Valentina pleaded, and the other girl could not take it. “Okay, okay” She gave in. “But if there’s anything I do not want to answer, I won’t” She warned Valentina. “Sure, no problem” The brunette said excited. 

Juliana followed Valentina to the couch, where they sat staring at each other in silence at first, thinking about what to ask. “So, I’ll go first” Valentina said after a few minutes, still in disbelief she had managed to get Juliana into that game. The other girl nodded, and the brunette took another seconds to form her question. 

“Were you and alcoholic or an addict of any kind, or anyone close to you? Cause I got the feeling that you hate it and I could see there’s no alcohol in this house” Juliana looked at her with intensity before speaking up. “I had never tasted a single drop of alcohol, tried any drugs or even a cigarette in my whole life and I plan to stay that way. Forever” She replied and then took a deep breath. “My dad used to drink. A lot. He was not an alcoholic, I believe, but it was his way of dealing with the failure that he thought his life was. After he left, my mum started drinking too. It wasn’t serious either, but it wasn’t nice to see. And then… Well, I met someone else who had a problem with not only alcohol. So, yeah, I have a strong rejection to all that”. Valentina nodded but didn’t say anything.

“My turn” Juliana stated. “Do you miss alcohol? Because if you have noticed there’s nothing here, it’s because you have been looking for it” The dark haired girl spoke severely, but Valentina smiled with a sad expression. “One of the first things they told me before being released from the rehab center was that any time I walked into a new place, I should detect my threats and triggers, so I can ask people to remove them. It’s hard, because when you see alcohol and you are an addict, you crave for it. But it’s one of the biggest and most important challenges to go through. To actually ask to be taken away. But I so miss it. Drugs not so much, that was more of my ex’s thing, I just got carried away with him into that. Alcohol was definitely my poison. Still is. But even when I miss it, I don’t miss the person I was while being drunk or after it”.

“I appreciate the honesty” Juliana replied. “Okay, so, moving on. What happened with your parents exactly? John and Daisy have pictured me a little bit all of your background stories, but it’s not the same hearing it from you. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it” Juliana smiled at that. 

“My dad was miserable. Living a life he didn’t like, with a wife that would always reminded him he was a failure. They would fight about anything, even in front of me. So I was not surprised of even pissed when he left. But when the days passed and he didn’t come back for me, that was terrible. We had a special bond built up from music. So I grew up mad at him for leaving and not looking back. Of course, I didn’t know he had tried to get in contact with me. I found out the worst way possible, after my mother had kicked me out of the house claiming that I could no longer be her daughter if I was determined to be gay. Like if it was my choice or something” Valentina could see how Juliana was trying to hold her tears, so she reached out and grabbed her hand. 

“I found the letters and postcards he had been sending all those years. I was so mad. Furious. So I decided to go looking for him. I didn’t, because he died. But, if you ask me now how I feel about both of my parents is mostly angry at both of them. At him, because he said he loved me, but not enough to stay. At her, because she also said she loved me, but not enough to accept me for who I am. So, I don’t think any of them should get the privilege to be called my family. Daisy and John. They are my family, everything I have”.

Valentina was about to cry, but she didn’t want to. So she simply nodded with a shy smile, trying to show some empathy. “Okay, I’ll go now. You mentioned your ex earlier. Where is he? What happened to him?” The young Carvajal was surprised by that question, mostly because she didn’t have a right answer to that.

“I honestly have no idea. I would like to blame him for all the terrible things I did, but I’m the only one responsible for that. But we were not good for each other, except when it came to publicity matters. We met each other when we were young, our families were close, we were good friends. He was for me the only person that understood the pressure of the life I was living, and I was the same for him. But we were as stupid as teenagers can be, living in a world of adults and where people would never say no to us because we were famous. So, everything got out of control. And it was the worst for me. We were still together when I was sent away, so we never actually broke up, I guess? But he never called, or send me anything. A few months later he left the level and signed a contract with our competition, so that was a pretty clear message for me. We were done. Not that I really cared, to be honest”.

“He sounds like a pig” Juliana replied and Valentina laughed. “Most men are” The brunette said laughing too. “That’s probably why I like women” Juliana added and Valentina bite her lip, preparing herself for the next question. “When did you know you were gay?” She asked right away, making Juliana turned serious again.

“Well, that’s hard to tell. Maybe I've always knew, it was just a matter of accepting it. I don’t recall a single momento feeling any kind of attraction towards a guy, but I used to stare at girls like all the time. I even think I had a huge crush on one of my teachers” She laughed and Valentina followed. “So, I really don’t know when I was certain about it. But I do know that at some point I couldn’t deny it anymore” Juliana was now showing another sad smile, Valentina held her gaze trying to show her some support, some understanding.

“How was rehab?” The dark haired girl asked full of curiosity. “Honestly? Awful” Valentina replied with a laugh. “I have never been in prison and of course I’m not saying it’s like that, but sometimes it feels like it. You’re being observed all the time, you feel judged. It helps, of course. But it’s a terrible experience and I really hope I don’t have to go through that ever again”. 

Now it was Juliana the one that took the other girl’s hand, squishing it a little bit. Valentina smiled at her brightly to thank her for the gesture. “Okay, last 2 questions. Have you ever been in love?” Valentina could see how Juliana tensed at the questions, taking her hand away. The dark haired girl swallowed thickly and closed her eyes for a moment, opening then again before answering. “Yes” She said, not getting into further details. Valentina nodded, knowing her last question would be the hardest one and could remain unanswered.

“Have you? Been in love, I mean” Juliana took her turn. Valentina took a moment to think about it, although she already knew the answer. “No. I don’t believe in it. I think love is some kind of invention to sell things on February 14th” She said with disdain and then laugh, but Juliana remained serious while nodding.

“Okay. The last one. As you said, if you don’t want to answer, you don’t have to. Yeah?” Juliana took a deep breath and nodded. Valentina looked at her doubting, but she needed to know. “Who’s Alex?” She finally asked. Juliana didn’t seem surprise, like she was expecting the question. But it took her awhile to finally speak, Valentina remained in silence all the time, just waiting. 

“Alex… Well, we all met in Las Vegas. John, Daisy and I have been playing together for a few weeks when we met her. We all clicked instantly, but especially me and her. She was running away, lost, just like us. But we didn’t know from what she was escaping. As Days went by, I felt more attracted to her. It was intoxicating. We loved the same music, books and movies. We could talk about anything and nothing at the same time. It was so easy to be with her” Juliana’s eyes were starting to fill up with tears, and Valentina was regretting the question she had made.

“The night I kissed for the first time, when I told her how I felt about her, it was also when she revealed from what she was running away from. She was an addict. Mostly drugs, but she would get caught up in anything to be honest. She was actually in Vegas gambling, trying to earn some money to pay to some dealer she had problems with. So I offered to help her. And so we did, we solved it out as a couple. Saving every penny we could, and paying her debts. Funny thing is, looking back now, we were never actually anything. She never called me her girlfriend or whatsoever. I was so in love with her I didn’t realize. John tried to warn me, several times, but I didn’t listen. So, we paid everything and we went on the road, ending up here. We met your brother, we had jobs, a future, a roof, a family. I was happy and naive. So I didn’t notice when she started drinking and consuming again. Things must have gotten out of control once more, because one night we went to bed together and when I woke up the next morning I was alone” Her voice started to tremble, Valentina reaches out again and held her hand.

“I looked for her everywhere but she was gone. Her stuff was gone. And suddenly I realists she took more than that. One of my father’s guitars was missing. Some money I was saving was no longer there either and, the worst part. My songs. There were a few scored sheets on my drawer, like ten songs I have written just for me, some even for her. Not for the band, not even for Andy. Those have copyright. But the ones she took, she was the only one who had listened to them. They were mine only because they were about my life, my love for her. And she didn’t even care” Juliana stood up and started walking around the studio, trying to calm herself.

“The worst part is, I justify her at first. John was so mad and I got angry at him because I tried to defend her. I thought, I really believed that she had gotten into serious trouble and she just wanted to save us from that”.

“Maybe she was” Valentina said, staring at Juliana still sitting on the couch. Juliana smiled with sarcasm, whipping her tears away from her face before continuing.

“I thought she would have taken the songs because she knew most of them were for her. Because she wanted to keep a piece of me. That the guitar, as it was the one she used, she wanted to have it as a reminder of the time we spent together. But you know what happened? A few weeks ago, your brother called letting us know there was a new artist signing up with the other level, the one your ex works in now. A girl that sounded a lot like a Alex and had a few hit songs on her sleeves” Valentina opened her eyes in surprise. How could someone be so cold at heart? 

“So she is selling out my fucking songs to the enemy. Probably even building a career or of that” Juliana was not crying anymore, her face was now red, filled with anger and resentment. Valentina didn’t know what today, she was definitely not expecting that story. She was pretty sure Alex was Juliana’s ex, she could tell that easily. But not even in millions years she would have imagined all the things the other girl said

“I just… I don’t know what to say, Juls. I’m sorry” Valentina said, Juliana looked at her and couldn’t help but smile because of the nickname. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. Now you know why I’m like this. I can’t trust people. Because most of them have failed me. Have showed me the worst of humanity”. And she was right, Valentina thought, but she was determined to show her she could trust her. 

“You still have your last question” The brunette said trying to change the subject. “Can I save it for later?” Juliana asked, taking her place on the couch again. Valentina nodded. “Maybe we should go to sleep now. We have work to do tomorrow” Juliana stood up again, walking towards the stairs. Valentina followed her, wishing they could stay there a little longer. Just the two of them, together sharing secrets. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sleeping was impossible for Valentina that night. She was lying in bed, staring at the sealing with her eyes wide open, shifting positions every five second unable to feel comfortable. Her mind was too busy, her brain too full thinking about Juliana and everything they have shared a few hours ago. And there was also Alex. That girl that she didn’t even know was occupying most of her thoughts. She wondered how would she look like, why would she done what she did. How could she sleep at night knowing she had hurt Juliana like that. 

Of course Juliana wouldn’t trust anyone. Her father left, her mother kicked her out and the girl she loved betrayed her. Valentina couldn’t blame her. Sometimes she was so caught up in her own problems she would forget she was not the only human being suffering. The world they lived in was so shitty, people were disgusting in every way. She felt powerless and overwhelmed by the whole situation. So when she finally fell asleep, she did it in such a bad mood that nightmares invaded her dreams, hunting her again, reminding her about all the things that she actually wanted to forget. 

The insisting sound of her alarm interrupted on of her ugly fantasies in her mind. She opened her eyes, feeling all the weight of a long night on her eyelids. She closed them back for a moment, still trying to sink in everything she has heard from Juliana the night before. 

Valentina got up slowly, entering the bathroom in slow motion. She washed her face, her teeth and looked at the mirror to find an extremely pale face with grey bags under her eyes. She aight at the view, desperately wishing to go back to bed. Instead, she walked down stairs like a zombie, to find Juliana already sitting on the table having breakfast. 

“Good morning” She said before taking her seat and pouring some hot black coffee on a mug, taking a long sip. Juliana looked at her with curiosity. “Good morning” the dark haired girl replied, making Valentina open her eyes in surprise. It was probably the first time Juliana showed manners in the morning, or at any moment actually. 

“You look terrible” Juliana said with a mischievous smile on her face. Valentina gave her a cold look. “Staying up at night is not for everyone” The other girl insisted, making her even angrier. “Very funny” Valentina replied before taking another long sip of her coffee and reaching out for a bagel. 

“I might look destroy now, but I’ll get better. You, instead, having those terrible sleeping habits, will look 50 when you turn 30. I can assure you” The brunette commented while spreading some jam on the bread. Juliana laughed, and that sound made Valentina’s heart skipped. She laughed too, happy to know things were better now between them. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That morning they gave the finishing touches to the few sogns they have written the past week, including the one Valentina created by herself. They didn’t tañl much, but the brunette could notice the air had changed between them. Something was different now and it was a good thing. She caught Juliana staring at her a few times, smiling. She did the same at certain moments, mesmerized everytime Juliana would play or sing. At some point, the dark haired girl sat at the piano while Valentina was trying to sing, but she would lose track of what she was doing, taking long looks at Juliana.

Way before lunch, they were done, so Juliana decided to show Valentina a song that she had been working on for the band, they had played it just once so she wanted to recorded that same afternoon. Juliana didn’t give her the lyrics at first, she wanted Valentina to get caught up on the music first. It was a hard song to play, they rehearsed it several times together before it even started to sound good.  
When the other two arrived, they had lunch and locked themselves in the studio right after, ready to record the new song. Valentina was in shock when she heard the lyrics while John was singing alone at first, she was sure Juliana wrote it for Alex. It was a dark song, about a heartbreaking. After they all recorded separately, they were ready to do it together. 

Oh this feels like the Kennedy Curse  
And everything inside is dead  
I'm on the fence about what feels worse  
The one leaving or the one in bed

In a dream she's talking dirty to me  
Just in a language that I can't speak  
Then she kisses my scars  
As she cuts out my heart  
And she places it right on her sleeve

I'm having visions of the way it will end  
I can see it all now in my head  
You will cast the first stone  
And my sail will be torn  
I'll lose my vessel to a dark sea bed

Will someone just come and take my heart?  
Get it down in front of moving cars  
I feel nothing at all  
So won't someone just come and take my heart?  
And tear it apart

Oh my thoughts they remain perverse  
And I know I am the first of my kin  
To be born with this curse  
So persuade and coerce  
Because I'm willing to be born again

Will someone just come and take my heart?  
Set it down in front of moving cars  
I feel nothing at all  
So won't someone just come and take my heart?  
And tear it apart  
And tear it apart  
And tear it apart  
Just tear it apart

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The recording was intense and it demanded everyone’s full focus and attention. But for Valentina it was amazing, she was really starting to feel part of the group and not just an outsider playing with them. They were a team now, working together and it sounded wonderful. And she was getting so much better at playing guitar, something she had abandoned when her career took off, paying attention only to performing and singing. This felt so different but so right.  
After a couple of hours locked down into the darkness of the basement, they all went to the garden to enjoy the sunset before having dinner, while Juliana was cooking. But Valentina didn’t want to leave her alone for so long, so she talked to John and Daisy for a while, before heading inside to make Juliana company.  
“Hey!” She said as she walked into the kitchen, where the other girl was fully concentrated on her task. “What are you making” Valentina asked when Juliana turned to meet her eyes. “Some enchiladas. It’s my speciality, to celebrate our progress”. The brunette smiled, Juliana was obviously in a good mood and that made her happy.  
“It smells delicious” Valentina walked closer to the dark haired girl, standing against the counter. Juliana kept cooking, but the young Carvajal could see her face was a little red and every once in awhile she would take a look at Valentina, who was trying to control herself and not to show her excitement.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After they have eaten dinner and washed the dishes, the four of them were sitting on the couches of the living room, listening to the songs they have already recorded, trying to think of some arrangements to do.  
“You’re not going out tonight?” John asked Juliana while Daisy and Valentina went to the kitchen to get everyone some tea. “Neh. I don’t feel like it” She simply replied, but she couldn’t fool her friend. “Since Alex took you to that disco when we first arrived here, and specially since she left, you have gone there every single friday and saturday night. I know you do it because you hope she would show up. So, now you’re telling me you don’t feel like going? Suspicious”.  
“What’s suspicious” Juliana asked looking at him with a serious expression on her face. “You took Valentina yesterday to dance, and now you’re staying here and I know you, it’s because of her”. The dark haired girl didn’t answer, she just sat back on the couch ignoring the sufficient look on her friend’s face. She knew he was not lying but she would never admit it.

Valentina and Daisy came back with the tea and kept listening to the songs and brainstorming ideas until both siblings started to feel the weight of their long working day and decided to go to sleep. Juliana said she would stay cleaning everything up and Valentina offered to stay.  
“Are you really going to clean up here and go to bed or will you stay up again writing in secret with insomnia?” Valentina asked while they were picking up the mugs. Juliana laughed at the comment. “I work better at night” She said with a weird tone, and the brunette stared at her. “What? I just mean that I like the peace and quiet of the night, what did you think?” Juliana had a mischievous smile on her face so Valentina rolled her eyes and laughed.  
They walked into the kitchen where Juliana washed the mugs and Valentina helped her, without saying a word. After it was all finished, they stayed there for a while, simply looking at each other. 

“So…” Valentina said after a few minutes, breaking the silence. “So, what?” Juliana asked smiling. “Okay, I’ll just go to sleep” Valentina laughed and started walking, but the other girl took her hand and made her turn around. “Do you want to hear one of my songs?” Juliana asked shyly, looking right into the brunette’s eyes. Valentina felt the air abandoned her lungs and the blood leaving her body, she was just bones, her body felt empty and strange sensation ran through it. Something she wanted to experience for the rest of her life. She just nodded, because she was unable to form an answer with Juliana’s eyes fixated on her’s the way they were in that precise moment. The other girl smiled and took her hand, taking them both back to the living room and through the hallway to go to the basement, but Valentina stopped for a second.  
“Are you going to play it for me?” She asked amazed and smiled widely when Juliana nodded, smiling too. “Can you do it outside? It’s a wonderful night and I remember enjoying music on the gallery with my grandpa while growing up, it would be amazing” She pleaded and Juliana obviously complied.  
When she got back with the guitar on her hand, Valentina was sitting on the grass, lost in the stars. Juliana smiled at the view and approached to take a sit right beside the other girl. 

Juliana started tuning the guitar while Valentina kept looking up at the sky. “Can ask you something?” The brunette said without taking her sight of the firmament, “That’s already a question” The other girl replied laughing, earning a little push from Valentina. “I mean it” She insisted. “Sure, Val” The young Carvajal felt her heart racing at that nickname.  
“Was the song that we played today for her? For Alex, I mean” Her words wandered in the air for a few seconds, while Juliana stayed still trying to hold her bad feelings. “Yes” She answered simply, retaking her task and getting ready to play.  
“Okay, shall I start?” She finally asked, and Valentina shifted her body to look at her with a huge smile on her face. “Whenever you’re ready” Valentina leaned in closer, her faces inches away from Juliana’s. She found herself being hypnotized by the way the light of the moon made Juliana’s skin glow, how her eyes being that dark could still shine brighter than any star. She was so caught up admiring the other girl’s beauty she didn’t even noticed Juliana never started playing. Instead, her chest was moving up and down heavily while she moved closer and closer to Valentina, in slow motion.  
When she realised what was happening, Valentina looked down at Juliana’s lips and back up to her eyes. She licked her lips and felt the dark haired girl’s breathe against them. And just when they mouths were about to touch, the sound of the bell ringing interrupted them.  
They looked at each other confused, no one ever came there and much less without announcing themselves. “I’ll go” Juliana said getting up. Valentina was so surprised she could not react and just looked as the other girl walked away.  
“Who’s there?” Juliana asked but had no reply. She opened the door just a few centimeters and showed her face just a little. But enough to feel her blood ran cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! It's me again.
> 
> I promised to give you a new chapter on Wednesday but it took longer than expected. Sorry.
> 
> So, I want to know your thoughts on all this.
> 
> Remember you can listen to all the songs feature on this fic on Spotify:  
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/14oVek600YetIxCuYl6sJC?si=j7uF0PW-SveNMOyALLld2g
> 
> Follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @MacaReynolds.
> 
> See ya!


	8. Thank you for breaking my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But I wanna thank you for letting me down, cause I won't fall as hard the next time around. I know life isn't fair, and you told me to suffer the scars. But I wanna thank you for breaking my heart”, Alexz Johnson

“Quiubo, Juliana?” She froze. “Have you forgotten about me, morra?” Juliana was so in shock she couldn’t even close the door before Alacran would put his hand on it, trying to make his way inside. She pushed back, holding it.

“What do you want?” Juliana finally managed to say, her voice shaking, fear expressing all over her face. “I’m looking for Alex” He replied smiling with sufficiency. The dark haired girl sighed at the mention of that name. “She’s not here. She took off a couple of weeks ago”.

Alacran took a step back, moving his hand away from the door. “I know all about that. Pero esa pinche vieja me debe dinero otra vez (but that bitch owes me money again) and this was the last address she gave me. So…”. 

Juliana’s face turned red as she felt her whole body filled with anger. “I have nothing to do with her anymore, so if she has to pay something, is all on her” She stated clearly trying to sound determined. Alacran smiled and licked his lips before speaking up again. “Trouble in paradise?” He asked with irony. “I don’t care about what happened between you two, but I do recall warning you should not trust in una maldita adicta de mierda (some damn shitty addict). And you, morra, said clearly to me that you would pay every last penny of her debts. So here I am for pay day, mi amor (my love)”.

“I have no money. Alex took it all, so you can go trying to find her and tell her that she has to pay me back to” She spoke as quickly and clearly as she could, before trying to close the door. But of course one of Alacran men didn’t let her. “Mira, preciosa (look, beautiful) I’m not going away with empty hands. I’m telling you, me importa un carajo (I don’t give a fuck) about what happened between you two. I don’t know if she is here or she isn’t, but I came all the way to pinche México (damn Mexico) to get paid. So give me my money and I’ll leave. Otherwise, yo creo que sabes muy bien de lo que soy capaz (I think you know very well what I’m capable of)”.

“Juls, what’s taking so long? Who is it? Juliana panicked when she heard Valentina’s voice, she turned her head to take a look inside and saw the brunette approaching the door. She raised her hand behind it, begging for Valentina to understand the gesture and stop right on her spot. 

“Oh, you have a new lady already?” Alacran bragged with and ugly smile. “No. She’s just the new guitar player, since Alex left”. Valentina heard what Juliana said and stood looking confused, she wanted to know what was going on. So she took another step, getting closer to the other girl who saw her by the corner of her eyes and turned her head again, to tell her to stop. But her distraction had a cost.

Alacran moved his head and automatically, one of his men pushed the door making Juliana stumbled back. Valentina took her arm to prevent the fall, unaware that in that moment three men walked in.

Valentina had no idea what was happening, but she could tell those men were no friendly neighbours, it was written all over Juliana’s face. The dark haired girl took the brunette’s hand and pushed her behind her to protect her. “I really don’t have any money” Juliana said, and Valentina got really scared. If they were looking for money and recognized her, they wouldn't stop. 

Fortunately, that didn’t happen, because Juliana had an offer for them. “I can give you my car” She said with a sad expression on her face. Alacran smiled. “You have always liked it, right?” Juliana insisted. “Es que está bien chulo tu carro, preciosa (Yes, your car is very beautiful, precious). But you told me once you would never give it up”.

“I know. But I have nothing else” Valentina saw a few tears running through Juliana’s face. She wanted to say something, but she was so confused. The other girl obviously knew these men. “Alright then. Go get the keys and we’ll take care of your friend here” Alacran had a mischievous smile on his face and was looking Valentina up and down.

“NO” Juliana screamd, pushing Valentina further. “You go get my keys” She turned to look at the young Carvajal. “They’re inside the drawer in my night table” Valentina nodded, feeling her body shaking as she took some steps to walk into the house. Before entering the living room, she looked behind to check on Juliana.

“Está bonita tu nueva morra (you’re new girl is pretty)” Alacran was still smiling, and Juliana felt her stomach turning. “She’s just a friend, I have already told you that” She replied, trying to stay calm. “When did Alex contact you again?” The dark haired girl could not help but ask about her ex. “I thought you didn’t want to know anything about her anymore” Juliana wanted to punch the man on the face so bad at that moment. 

“I don’t. But she owes me money too, remember? If she is consuming again, I know she won’t pay me” Alacran closed his eyes a little. “Pues en eso tienes razón (well, you got that right). She definitely won’t pay you back”. 

After what it felt like an eternity, Valentina got back holding the keys in her hand and gave them to Juliana, who said a silent thank you when their hands touched. “There you go, the car is parked outside. There’s nothing I need on it, I haven’t driven it in awhile” Alacran took a step forward, taking the keys smiling. “Pleasure doing business with you, morra. Espero que no tengamos que vernos nunca más (hope we don’t see each other ever again)”.

Juliana remained serious, “I hope the same'' she said and held her breath until she saw them all crossing the door. A few seconds later, she heard the sound of her car running, and a few tears run through her cheeks but she wiped them away immediately, turning around to grab her guitar and head back inside the house. 

Valentina followed the other girl in silence, until they reached the living room. She saw Juliana was about to head to the hallway, probably running away without giving her a single explanation about what had happened.

“Aren’t you going to tell me anything?” She asked angrily. The dark haired girl stopped right on her spot, but she didn’t turn around. “No” She said and disappeared walking upstairs. Valentina wanted to scream, she had never felt so frustrated and scared in her entire life. What if those men came back? Who were they? Which was their relationship with Juliana? She thought about calling Guille and tell him everything, but she decided she would give Juliana a chance to explain herself the next day.

So she went to her room and lie on the bed, again unable to sleep. She was foolish believing she was actually getting to know Juliana. There was definitely a dark past behind her, and although she wanted to discover it a few hours ago, now she wasn’t so sure. 

\------------------------------------

After another sleepless night, Valentina went down almost at 10 o’clock on Sunday morning, only to find John and Daisy having a late breakfast and no sight of Juliana. “Good morning” She said taking a seat and pouring herself some coffee, which tasted weird. “What’s up with this?” Valentina asked disgusted.

“John made it” Daisy replied laughing. “I should have warned you, sorry” Valentina laughed too. “Hey! My coffee is great, you two shut up!” John stated pretending to be offended. “Besides, if I hadn’t woken up early and made all this, you wouldn’t be having breakfast at all, so you should thank me”.

“Where’s Juliana? I thought she always took care of every meal” Valentina asked trying to recover herself from laughing. “I was actually going to ask you the same question. She is not in her room or the studio. I looked for her everywhere” John seemed confused. “She said she wasn’t going out last night” he added.

“She didn’t. I think” Valentina replied. “Something happened last night” She said then, a little worried. “What do you mean something happened? Something like what?” Daisy joined the conversation smiling.

“No, nothing like that” Valentina knew exactly what the other girl was implying. “Some men came here, asking Juliana for money. She seemed to know them, she was scared”. “Some men?” John asked.

“Yeah… Honestly, I don’t mean this in a bad way but they looked like narcos or something and they mentioned Alex” John and Daisy froze. “No… It can’t be. One of them had a mustache?” The young man asked paralized. 

“Yes!” Valentina said. “What did they say about Alex?” John was incredibly serious and Valentina started to worry. “I think she owed them money, so they came here to get it”. 

“That bitch!” John got up and started walking around. “I’m guessing she is consuming again?” Valentina commented looking at him, who stopped and stared back. “What do you know about her?”.

“Everything. Juliana told me the other night. I mean, like they were together and she left and took the money and her songs” John looked at her surprised. “So these guys came and claimed for the money, so Juliana game them her car”.

“No way” John was even more surprise now. “Her car? Are you sure?” Valentina nodded. “One of them, the one that seemed like the boss, he was surprised too, when she offered it”. “Of course he was. He always wanted that car and Juliana never gave in. She saved every penny to pay him Alex’s debts with the money they made, not with her belongings. She loved that car” John suddenly seemed sad and Valentina was even more worried. She wanted to know where Juliana was.

“I’m sure she went out then. That’s what she does” John said after a few moments, taking his seat again on the table. But the young Carvajal was thinking the worst scenarios in her head. How those men could have returned to get Juliana. So she was about to text Guille when the living room door opened and Juliana walked in, wearing the same clothes as yesterday and obviously sleepless.

The dark haired girl looked at everyone and without saying a word she headed to the stairs, disappearing and slamming the door of her room seconds later. Valentina huffed, pretty sure all that she had managed to advance with Juliana was now taking steps back.

\------------------------------------

“Hey, what happened? Your message sounded urgent” Guille was talking at the other line of the phone. After meditating for a few hours, Valentina decided to talk to him. “Well, it kind of was. Something happened here”. “What?” The brunette remained in silence for a few moments, thinking about what to say.

“First of all, we’re all okay, so stay calm” Valentina could feel her brother heavily breathing on the other side of the line. “Some men came to the house last night, looking for that Alex, who I already know everything about by the way” She spoke so fast it was a miracle Guille understood her.

“What kind of men?” He asked tense. “For what John told me and what I understood, it was a dealer and his thugs”. “What?! Did they hurt you? Did they hurt anyone?” Guille was almost screaming desperately. “No, nothing like that. Apparently they knew Juliana, she had pay for Alex before to them?” Valentina tried to calm him down. “I see. Yes, she told me about all that, but I’d never imagined something like this would happen. I’m sorry, Vale. I will book you a flight right away if you want and…” Guille was speaking fast now.  
“Wha-no. Guille, no. I’m staying here. Juliana solved everything. She paid to them, with her car” Valentina was not seeing her brother in that moment, but she could feel he was surprised at that. “She gave them her car? Juliana loves that car” Guille was so confused that almost made Valentina laugh. “I know” She replied. “But she wanted to take them out of here, to keep everyone safe” A little smile appeared on her face while saying that. She was worried about Juliana and sure the dark haired girl would be all cold and distant again after what had happened, but it warmed her heart remembering how she gave up something she loved just to save her.

“They could go back” Guille said still worry. “I’m sure they won’t, but that’s one of the reasons I’m calling. I know grandpa had a security system here, with hidden cameras and all. Maybe we can get someone to come and get them running again?”. “That’s actually a great idea, sis. I’ll make a few calls and will get someone to go there d do that” Guille replied more calm.

“Thank you”. “So, what was the other thing you were calling about?” Valentina wasn’t sure if what she had in mind was a good thing to ask her brother to do, but she needed to do it. “I know this Alex has signed with Luminity Records, but I want you to find out everything she is doing there. I’ll make sure when I get back Juliana gets either her car or her money back. Whatever it takes” She spoke with such a security that Guille couldn’t say no.

“Alright. I’ve been following her steps anyway, but I’ll have someone here in the office taking care of that rigorously. I’ll now ask you something, okay?” Valentina knew by the tone of his voice that he was being really serious. “You all will be very careful from now on and you’ll call me if anything, no matter how small or stupid happens, yes?” The brunette nodded while speaking. “Of course, I promise”.

“Okay, so maybe it would be a good time for some great news, right?” Guille said making Valentina feel extremely curious. “Great news are always welcome” She said smiling. “Okay, I was going to tell all of you tomorrow, but it would be good for you to tell them and lightened the mood. You are going to play a concert” Guille’s word stuck on her head while her eyes opened widely, her heart started beating so fast she could listen to it clearly. It had been so long since she got to perform she couldn’t believe it was finally happening. She was coming back to the stage.

“Val, are you there?” Guille asked after a few seconds of silence. “Yes, yes. I’m sorry. I was just processing what you said. I haven’t gave a concert in so long” She was feeling nervous too, it was a lot of pressure. “I know. That’s why I thought it would be good for you to play with the band first, before you big show in a few weeks. To be back on track and you wouldn’t be alone, so it will be much easier” Valentina melted at that comment, Guille was always thinking about her and how she would feel.

“This are real great news. I can’t wait to tell the others, and much less to finally get to play some music in front of people”. She spoke excited. “I know. I know” Guille replied and Valentine knew he was smiling too. “The show will be on friday, same day Daisy turns 18. I’ll send you the details later, but I tell you that you will have to prepare 3 songs to play. Is not much, I know. But you’ll blow everyone’s mind away, I’m sure of it”.

“I’ll make sure we do”.

\------------------------------------

After speaking to Guille, Valentina went downstairs again, ready to face Juliana in the basement. She was absolutely sure it would be really hard to talk to the other girl after what had happened, but she wanted to give it a try.

As she walked into the studio, the loud and consistent noise from the drums invaded her. The room was almost dar, except for a thim light right above the purple Gretsch set that Juliana was hitting with more than the necessary force. The dark haired girl didn’t even noticed the brunette's presence, she was obviously too focused on letting her anger out through making music. 

Valentina lost herself at the sight. Juliana was wearing a washed out grey Rolling Stones tank top with black jean shorts. Her hair was falling on one side of her head, dancing through every movement. The muscles of her arms contracting and relaxing constantly. Valentina would never admitted to the other girl or even to herself, but she was thinking that Juliana looked sexy as hell. But at the same time, she could tell but the expression on her face she was sad and torn. 

When the beat starting to get out of control because Juliana was just trying to hit harder instead of actually playing, Valentina went closer to try to stop her. Suddenly, Juliana stopped by herself, her chest racing. She left the sticks fall onto the floor and closed her eyes, putting her hands behind her head. Valentina could tell she had been crying. 

The young Carvajal took a step forward, entering the circle where the light was the brightest and cleared her throat to be noticed. Juliana ducked her head and their eyes met, while an expression of anger reflected on the dark haired girl’s face. “I must have guessed you would come here” She said getting up from the bench and heading to the couch, where she lay down. Valentina followed her and sat on the floor, right in front of the other girl. 

“Of course I would. I want to know what’s going on with you. Where did you go last night?” Valentina felt the anxiety building inside, so she started biting the inside of her cheek to calm herself down while waiting for Juliana to answer.

“I just… Went out” The simple answer made Valentina mad. “Just out?” She insisted. “You already know where I went, I’m pretty sure” Juliana stared at the sealing ignoring the other girl’s eyes. 

“But you didn’t spend the whole night there, right?” Juliana didn’t answer. “I don’t care about your personal life, Juliana. But something could have happened to you. Or to us. What if those men came back here?” She couldn’t believe how selfish the dark haired girl have acted.

“They wouldn’t. They won’t. He now has what he wanted from the very beginning. The first time I met him, when he found Alex living with us, he saw the car and went nuts. And it probably doubles any amount Alex owes him, so they won’t come back”. 

“Did you go to the disco because you thought she would show up? Is that the reason you always go there? Or just to sleep with strangers? Because you obviously spent the night out with someone. I don’t think you wandered around in the streets” Valentina was surprised by her own thoughts that were now lost words in the air. She was jealous because she was sure Juliana would go to that bar to pick up girls.

“First of all” Juliana spoke loud, now looking at her. “Whatever I do outside this house, or even in my room, is none of your business. Is my fucking private life. Second, I’m pretty aware that Alex won’t show up again, neither in that club or in here, so you, John, Daisy and whoever else that believes that, are being stupid or worst, thinking I am for going there. And third, why would you care who I sleep with?”.

The question punched Valentina in the face, almost leaving her unconscious because she did not have a good answer to that, at least not one that wouldn’t expose her feelings. Feelings she was not ready to even declare to herself. She opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. She stayed there in silence for a few moments, just staring at Juliana until she decided to speak.

“Well, I do care about your so called private life because it’s obviously affecting not only the dynamics of this house, but also the way you relate to me. Your mood swings affect us while working, sometimes enough for you to leave me working alone when you’re supposed to be helping me. So, if you were a real professional, you would be able to leave your problems to yourself and do what you have to do”.

Juliana was speechless, she just stayed there with not a single word to say. “And I’m sorry your ex was such a bitch and I am also sorry for what happened yesterday, specially for your car. But we have a job to do together and I hope you can keep up with it” With that said, Valentina stood up and headed to the stairs, stopping right before going up, to take a final look at Juliana who was still frozen in her spot.

“Oh, before I forget. We’re playing a show on friday on a bar. 3 songs, the four of us together as a band. I’ll go tell John and Daisy” And before the other girl could react, she climbed up the stairs and disappeared through the door. 

\------------------------------------

The rest of that Sunday, no one left their rooms not even for diner. Although John and Daisy were really excited to know they would finally get to play after months, they were all still worry about Juliana and what had happened with Alacran.

The next morning, Valentina came down to find everyone having breakfast in silence. She informed them that Guille had sent someone to reconnect the security system of the house and they would be coming in a few hours, so Juliana and her would leave their activities for tomorrow, so she could take care of the whole thing.

So after everything in the house was set and Daisy and John came back from work, they all had lunch while trying to decide which songs they should play on the show, before heading to the studio to rehearse.

“Of course we’re playing Fucked Up Kids cause is our anthem and I will resign from the band if we don’t” John said while a piece of taco fell off his mouth. “Maybe you should eat before you speak” His sister said laughing. “Touché” He replied still with his mouth full making Juliana and Valentina laugh too.

“I agree though. We should close with Fucked Up Kids. We have a few more that Valentina hadn’t practiced yet, and some would be perfect for the show” Juliana added calmly. “We should go with My Best Habit” Daisy tensed at what his brother said, and Valentina noticed that the boy looked at Juliana with expecting eyes. The dark haired girl stilled in her place, looking at nothing. 

“No” She said after a few seconds, and no one argued. 

\------------------------------------

While Juliana and Daisy went to the basement to get everything ready for rehearsals, John and Valentina were washing the dishes. “I know you want to ask me” He said with a funny smile, conscious that the brunette was staring at him from the corner or her eyes.

“Ask you what?” Valentina played dumb, focusing on her task. “About the song I proposed earlier” He was right, but the girl wouldn’t admit it. “What is there to know about that song?” She commented trying to sound uninterested. “Look, I know Juliana has something that drives every single girl, or guy but she doesn’t care about us, go crazy. And I could tell from the very beginning you like her and want to find out everything you can about the mystery that is my friend” Valentina was about to protest but he kept going. “You are a big girl, I won’t tell you don’t go there or what to do. Just be careful, okay? Juliana is damaged and I don’t think she wants to be fixed”

“I’m damaged” Valentina replied. “Yeah, that’s just another reason to stay away” After a few minutes of absolute silence, John spoke again. “And there’s a lot to know about that song”.  
\------------------------------------

They lost track of time inside the studio, deciding which songs to play and helping Valentina to learn the ones she didn’t know yet. Even when they were happy to be able to perform an official concert, the pressure and the stress was obvious. They wanted the show to be perfect and didn’t have much time to prepare it. 

That night, they all went to bed past 12, even though John and Daisy had to wake up early to go to work. The next morning, Valentina decided to let Juliana help her with the song they would play in the show, so when the other two came back she would be ready to actually rehearse with the band and not to focus on learning the songs. The dark haired girl hesitated it at first, because it was her job to make sure Valentina would have her album ready for her big concert a few weeks ahead. But the brunette proposed they could work after diner, since John and Daisy were always tired and went to bed, and given the fact Juliana didn’t even sleep much anyway. 

So that week was extremely tiring for Valentina. She would wake up right before John and Daisy left, to have a quick breakfast and head with Juliana to the studio to rehearse until lunch. The four of them would eat together before heading to the basement again and locked themselves for hours. After dinner, she and Juliana would work on new songs for Valentina.

Thursday arrived and the young Carvajal was feeling the weight of her working habits all over her body. Muscles tensed, big bags under her eyes, she was even paler than usual. And Juliana noted it.

“We should take a break today” Juls said while they were having coffee on the table, right after the other pair had left. “No way” Valentina answered firmly. “Val, you look really tired and I don’t want to be responsible for your lack of resting. You already know all the songs from beginning to end, and sound as you have been part of the band since forever” The brunette smiled at that compliment. They were so little moments when Juliana would say something nice about anyone, so she knew a kind word coming from the other girl’s was meaningful. 

“Besides, I have to work on some songs for Andy, so it would be good for me to have a moment to do that” Juliana insisted and Valentina smiled even more, knowing she was just saying that to convince her. After what had happened on the weekend, Juliana came back to her normal self, cold, distant and serious. But there was some walls she could not built back up and Valentina took advantage of that. 

“Okay, let’s make a deal” Valentina said and Juliana rolled her eyes, knowing she wouldn’t like the proposal but completely sure she would accept. “I’ll go with you to the basement and rest on the couch while you work. You’re quiet and seeing you playing relaxes me” The brunette bit her lower lip pleading with her eyes for her wishes to be fulfilled by the other girl.

Juliana considered it for a few moments, but Valentina could easily tell she had gotten away with her demand. “Okay” The dark haired girl finally said, getting a happy screaming in response.

\------------------------------------

Valentina fell asleep after just a few minutes lying on the couch. She was exhausted, and even though she actually wanted to hear what Juliana was working on, the accumulated tiredness won her over and closed her eyes before the other girl would actually even started playing.

She woke up feeling she had slept for years and saw Juliana sitting on the piano, arranging some sheets before opening the lid and passed her fingers through the keys. Valentina remained still, pretending to be sleeping just to hear what the other girl was about to play.

You never took my side  
Never let me shine  
It was never the truth  
Lies, lies

Valentina heart broke when she heard the first parts and how Juliana’s voice sounded broken.

Let me believe  
That you'll never leave  
I thought I had nothing to lose  
Why, why  
Now here I am, singing the blues

The young Carvajal was amazed by how Juliana could actually perform and write any kind of music.

But I wanna thank you for letting me down  
Cause I won't fall as hard the next time around  
I know life isn't fair, and you told me to suffer the scars  
But I wanna thank you for breaking my heart

Juliana’s fingers traveled through the keys with mastery, it was hypnotizing.

I let you inside  
I treated you kind  
I wait for you every time and time  
And I should've known  
I'd be better alone  
But none of it was real  
I was blind, blind  
Now here I am, singing the blues

But I wanna thank you for letting me down  
Cause I won't fall as hard the next time around  
I know life isn't fair, and you told me to suffer the scars  
But I wanna thank you for breaking my heart

Valentina wanted to get up and hugged Juliana, but at the same time she was trapped in the moment, enjoying the voice of the other girl.

If you hadn't left me hurting so bad  
No, I'd never know how strong I am  
I wouldn't be ready to meet somebody new  
A real love

The brunette was sure the song was not for Andy, just Juliana letting her anger and pain abandon her body after so much hurting.

But I wanna thank you for letting me down  
Cause I won't fall as hard the next time around  
I know life isn't fair, and you told me to suffer the scars  
But I wanna thank you for breaking my heart

“Did you enjoy it, Valentina?” Juliana asked and the brunette opened her eyes ashamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday!
> 
> Update before the weekend so they have something to read hahaha.
> 
> Did you guess who appeared on the other side of the door? I know you didn't . But don't worry, there is still time for Alex to show uo and you will be able to keep hating her.
> 
> Remember that on Spotify you can listen to all the songs that appear in the chapters, here is the list:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/14oVek600YetIxCuYl6sJC?si=CHhrYIShRQG_ygNl61iQTQ
> 
> Follow me on Twitter and Instagram: @ MacaReynolds.  
And take the opportunity to read also the first chapter of my new fic, The Hanging Tree, here's the link:  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22169815/chapters/52924591
> 
> See you!


	9. Slip the noose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, loneliness is hell and you're alone but I can tell you that it's everything you need because it brought you back to me”, The Maine

Valentina sat on the couch staring at Juliana, who was still on the piano not even looking at her. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to interrupt you” The brunette said trying to sound sincere. “You have such a powerful voice, Juls. It’s a shame you don’t want to be the lead singer of the band or even to have your own thing”. 

“You don’t like John’s voice?” The dark haired girl asked a few moments later, standing from where she was sitting and walking towards the other girl. “Is not what I said. John has a great voice and he obviously has this energy a performer should. But you…” She stayed silent for a while, looking for the right words. “What?” Juliana insisted. “You are pure emotion. And that makes you different, special” The other girl smiled shyly, and Valentina could tell her cheeks were blushing. 

“Thanks. That actually means a lot. But the center of the stage is not for me. I’m more than happy just writing the songs and playing the bass. Anyway, you didn’t answer my question” Juliana said now looking directly to Valentina, who stared back confused. “Did you enjoy the song?”. “I did” She replied smiling.

“Well, what if we go to bed? We have to rest for tomorrow” Juliana proposed standing up and heading to the couch, to help Valentina get up. “That sounds great, your bed or mine?” Valentina asked playfully, and Juliana chuckled. “C’mon” The dark haired girl pulled the brunette up they left the studio.

\----------------------------

The next morning, Valentina woke up later than usual. Her and Juliana had agreed not to do anything in the morning so they would all have lunch together and after that they would practice a couple more times and then they would start to get ready for the show.

When she got downstairs, she found Juliana sitting on the table, staring at her cup of coffee looking extremely anxious. Valentina felt her heart dropped at the sight, because she knew that even though they had played in front of people millions of time while performing on the streets, this was something completely new for them and of course they would feel nervous.

“Good morning” The brunette said as taking her usual sit and taking her mug to drink some coffee herself. Juliana barely moved her head as an answer, which it was a normal gesture on her. “Are you feeling okay?” Valentina asked, trying to hide the smile on her face.

“What? Yes, I’m fine” Juliana answered almost immediately, trying to focus on her breakfast again. “You’re nervous” This time it wasn’t a question, but still Juliana replied rapidly. “I’m not” This time the other girl didn’t hide her smile. 

“It’s okay to be it, Juliana. You don’t have to pretend you’re strong all the time. I’ve been doing this for years now and I still feel sick before going on stage. It’s normal”. “Well I have been playing in public for a while too, and I’ve never felt nervousness. But thank you for the pep talk” The dark haired girl answer now a little upset, so she got up and took her plate and cup to wash them. But Valentina stopped her before she could leave.

“Hey! Juls, really. I’m not saying this to make you mad or anything, I’m nervous too right now. In fact, I’m going to do some breathing exercises to calm myself down and stay relaxed. Wanna join?” Valentina bite her lip as she always did while trying to convince someone, and Juliana knew it but she didn’t want to give in this time. “I have my own methods to focus. Thank you”.

\----------------------------

Valentina was already in the middle of her routine, which took her a little while to remember, when from the corner of her eyes she saw Juliana standing in the gallery with her arms crossed on her chest and a weird look on her face. The brunette couldn’t recognized that expression, so she kept doing her thing without letting the other girl know she saw her. 

As the minutes went by, Valentina noticed the burning stare of Juliana’s eyes on her, and she realized the expression she could not recognize earlier was now so obvious. It was the same as she had a few nights ago while watching the dark haired girl playing the drums. She smiled to herself, happy to know she had that effect on Juliana. 

Valentina was never the type of girl that would use her beauty to get something she wanted, but she knew very well what she could provoke on the others. Boys and girls had fluttered her countless of times even before being famous. Whenever she went, she would get that kind of attention and she felt comfortable with it, even when not acting on it.   
If Juliana liked girls, she would definitely find her attractive, Valenuna was sure about that. Not because she believed much of herself, but because life had taught her that. But after all those days together and being practically ignored by the other girl and mistreated, she was actually thinking that maybe Juliana didn’t like her that way at all. But she was obviously wrong. 

Juliana cleared her throat and approached carefully, while Valentina untangled her legs from the position she was practicing and their eyes met, making Juliana looked away immediately.

“Do you need anything, Juls?” Valentina spoke softly with a mischievous tone on he voice, even prouder of what she had accomplished. “Mmm, no. I mean, yes” Juliana couldn’t even form a sentence and Valentina smiled wider as she noticed the other girl’s eyes lost staring at her body, only covered by a black sport bra and grey leggings. “So?” Valentina was loving the game.

“I changed my mind” Juliana spoke in almost a whisper. “I could use some breathing exercises”. Valentina patted on the grass in front of her, inviting Juliana to sit, and the other girl obeyed. “Okay, have you ever practiced yoga before?” The brunette asked still showing a huge smile on her face. “No” Juliana responded looking a little shy.

“That’s okay, we’ll go with the basics. So, you’re already sitting in the right position. Now, put your arms up, like you were trying to reach the sky” Valentina got up while Juliana did what she was told. “Now, keep your back straight and your head too, while breathing slowly” The young Carvajal run her hands through Juliana’s arms, barely touching with her fingertips the other girl’s skin. She reached Juliana’s ribcaged and her hands met right in the other girl’s diaphragm. 

Valentina could feel how Juliana’s breathing was uneven and increasing, and she took advantage of that touching her slowly, talking right in the dark haired girl’s ear. “Breathe in, breathe out. You need to reach a steady breathing, calm and relaxed”. “I… I am relaxex” Juliana tried to say firmly, but she could barely speak.

“I can see that”. Valentina moved her hands to Juliana’s tights, making the other girl held her breath. “Breathe out, Juls” The young Carvajal spoke again in Juliana’s ear, causing her to shiver. 

Valentina walked around and sat again in front of the dark haired girl. “Okay, you seriously need to relax, so we’ll play a little game. It’s call the energy game” Juliana frowned. “You have to close your eyes and I’ll transmit my energy to you, following the line of your body but without touching you”. Valentina could hear loud and clear Juliana’s heart beating out of control, and smiled again once the other girl closed her eyes.

“Just focused on my breathing and yours” Valentina said while extending her hands to placed them near Juliana’s to take them and raised them in the middle of them both. “Now leave your hands like this, like they were antennas” And Juliana did. She left her hands floating there in the space between the two girls. Valentina breath in slowly, trying to stay focused and calm. She placed her hands in front of Juliana’s, just inches apart, without touching them. 

So slowly that it was even imperceptible, she moved them tracing the line of Juliana skin, electricity running through them, so magnetic that it felt like the rest of the universe had turned to ashes and the two of them was all that stayed in place, gravitating around each other. Now they were the sun and the moon. Nothing else existed. Nothing else mattered. 

Valentina leaned closer, while her hands reached Juliana’s shoulders. Now it was the brunette whose breathing was uneven. Her chest rising and falling so fast it feels unrealistic. Her hands stopped for awhile, because her eyes, her brain is completely focused on examining the girl in front of her closer. Her golden, soft and bright skin. Her inviting, dedicated even sophisticated neck. Her chin dimple, prominent jaw, the little mole on her cheek. And even when they’re closed and she can’t stared at them in that moment, those chocolate eyes hidden behind those long and marvelous eyelashes. 

The brunette’s fingertips kept her way up until both of her hands landed right beside Juliana’s face. Their lips so close to each other, she could feel the air leaving the other girl’s mouth. And Valentina felt that urgency again, she already felt it twice around Juliana and she is determined to do something about it this time. She was in control of the situation and plans to act on it.

Time stood still. Valentina finally cup Juliana’s face in her hands, caressing the other girl’s cheek carefully, while moving away a strand of hair behind Juliana’s ear. The dark haired girl breath deeply and that was Valentina’s sign to make her move, leaning impossibly closer to do what she had been dying to do.

The main door of the house stormed open and Valentina feelt Juliana backing off. John and Daisy walked in talking loudly. The young Carvajal turned away to give her back at them, so no one can see her face all red. Juliana is now up on her feet, speaking to the other two. 

Valentina stood up too, wanting to hide herself away from the world for long hours. But she couldn’t. They all had to get ready for the show. But she couldn’t think about anything else. Juliana took every single space in her mind. She barely even managed to congratulate Daisy for her birthday.

\----------------------------

After a few rehearsals, the last ones, everyone went to their rooms to get ready for the concert. They took turns to shower, and no one went out or down until Guille arrived at 5 pm, ready to take them for the sound check. 

“Is anyone home” Guille spoke loudly as he came through the living room door, finding an empty place and a silence so loud it scared him. A few seconds later, he was met by John, wearing black skinny pants with leather boots of the same colour. A simple white t-shirt with open collar and black suspenders. 

“You really put a thought into your look, huh?” Guille said almost laughing, while the other guy rolled his eyes. “We have a lot of experience on selling ourselves out to the audience, Guille. Because playing on the streets is like a million times harder than doing it on a bar or whatever. So, trust me. This” He pointed at himself “Will kill it”.

Valentina walked through the hallway staring at John. It was the first time she actually saw him like that. “Wow, Alex Turner much?” She joked, earning a bad look from her bandmate. “He actually wears them with buttoned shirts so, it’s not the same”. 

The young Cavajal was wearing a short light jeans overall, hanging from one side with a plain white t-shirt underneath, with white sneakers. Her hair just down and a little messy. Her make up was light and simple too, with two little glitter points right in the corner of every eye. She knew that would be her first official public appearance, but that night wasn’t about her. It was about the band and she didn’t want to be the center of attention. 

Soon she was followed by Daisy, who had a way more childish look, with a black and blue flannel shirt on top of a red Ramones t-shirt, with black shorts to her knees and a pair of black vans.

“Happy birthday to this not so little girl” Guille said while hugging Daisy, who looked really embarrassed. “Can you believe I got you the best birthday present in the history of humanity with this concert? I know, I’m the best” Everyone laughed at his comment, but Valentina’s laughter was interrupted as soon as she caught sight of Juliana walking through the hall. She felt the air leaving her lungs and not returning, her head spinning endlessly and her body combusting instantly.

All the nervousness she had managed to provoked in Juliana earlier while practicing yoga, was now hitting back to her, multiplied by thousands. Guille noted her mesmerized look and follow her eyes, to meet what her sister was staring with such a delight. “We should have warned you Juliana knows how to dress up for this shit” John commented trying to hold his laugh.

Juliana took the last steps and finally made it to the living room, where the light offered a better look of her outfit. She was wearing a black leather top with a silver zipper right in the middle of her breasts, leaving her abdomen, arms and neck completely exposed. Either her skin was shining more than ever or she was wearing glitter, but Valentina couldn’t actually tell. The dark haired girl legs were covered with black leather pants, short enough to exposed a little skin on her ankles right where her black opaque boots ended. The high platform on the shoes made her look not only taller but intimidating. She had a couple of little braids on one side of her head, while the rest of her hair was falling to the other. Her lips covered on cherry red lipstick with smoakie black shadow on her eyelids. Valentina memorized every single detail of Juliana’s look, she couldn’t take her yes off of the other girl. 

“Ready to go?” Guille’s voice took her out of her trance, noticing Juliana was smiling proudly. Valentina nodded defeated. There was nothing else to do, she was completely lost on Juliana.  
\----------------------------

“There’s a little thing we need to solve before the show” Guille spoke once they were all sitting in the back of the van, heading to the venue. “Are you going to change the name of the band or not? I know this has been some sort of issue for you all, but I need an answer” John, Daisy and Juliana looked at each other.

“I can’t believe I’ve never asked you which was the name of the band” Valentina said laughing at herself. “I guess I always assumed it was 8123 because it is what’s written on the drums” She added still laughing but stopped as soon as she realized no one else was joining her.

“Well you are right” Juliana said simply. “The thing is, 8123 was the number of the lot our trailer was parked when we all lived together in Vegas. Including Alex, so, once she left… Well, we didn’t want to use that name again. But we haven’t found another that suits us”.

“You’re all going to let her ruin the name of your band? She stole so many things, don’t let her take that too. Own it. It’s yours and it means something to you”. “We also thought it meant something for her, but it didn’t” Juliana said interrupting Valentina, and then looked away, to lose her sight on the road. 

“I think Val is right, you should keep the name” Guille spoke after a few minutes of absolute silence. “It’s meaningful to us, with or without Alex” John added. Juliana turned her head to look at them and smiled a little. “You are right. I have given that bitch many satisfactions, I should not add another one. 8123 it is”. They all shouted in celebration and Valentina met Juliana’s eyes sparkling. She smiled too, and then they both looked away unable to hold the other’s stare.

\----------------------------

Once the soundcheck was done, they were all waiting backstage for the audience to come in. They were the last act of the night, so there was still plenty of time to be ready, but that seemed to be a problem since everyone was extremely nervous. Valentina was doing her breathing exercises on the floor, while John and Daisy were sitting on the couch of one of the backstage room, completely quiet and pale. Juliana, on the other hand, was sitting on a chair away from everyone else listening to music on her phone, trying to calm herself down.

After a long time, Guille walked in and everyone stood up and surrounded him, ready to know when were they going on stage. “Okay, you are next. I’m not going to lie to you, the place is really crowded and there’s a lot of press. Of course it is because Valentina is here. But trust me, everyone will forget about her once they hear you guys. So today is not about Val helping a band to become a success, it's about your music, the job you have all been doing together. Stay focus, do your best and, above all, enjoy it because is a once in a lifetime opportunity. After tonight, everyone will want to know who 8123 is and why Valentina Carvajal wanted so bad to play with them. That’s the story will tell, and is going to help the band and is also going to help Vale. Ready?” Gulle’s voice sounded like he was about to break into tears.

Valentina smiled and put her hand hand right of her brother, who imitated the gestures. John and Daisy followed, and finally Juliana put her hand above the others. “Let’s rock” John said and they swung their hands down and up, screaming to let the nervousness go and enjoy the moment.

\----------------------------

When the other band left the stage, the presenter went back and to announce the final show. Valentina was waiting next to Daisy, staring at Juliana and John on the other side who were holding hands in an attempt to stay sane.

“And now, for our final presentation of the night, we have a very special band with a very special guest. These guys started playing in the streets of Las Vegas and had come a long way to be here tonight with one of the biggest stars in the musical industry. Hope you can recognize her. Please welcome, 8123!”

The light went completely off, and all they could hear was the murmurs of the audience while they took their places on stage. Valentina felt her whole body shaking. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, waiting for the music to start. 

Seconds later, a light shined over John’s head illuminating him only when he started singing.

Break down, hysteric and young  
Uncomfortably numb  
Then you sent my pain into oblivion  
I was on the verge of breaking down  
Then you came around  
And not a second too late (too late, too late, too late)

When the rest of them started playing, the whole stage lit up and the crowd went crazy as soon as everyone realized it was Valentina the one playing main guitar.

Well, give two fingers to the person that I used to be  
You shook the noose, slipped my head loose  
And now that boy is history  
And you see that I knew better, yeah, I knew better  
Than to refuse your hand, you rescued me from myself

Every single person inside the venue was staring at her, so in order to calm herself she focused on playing and, every once in a while, she would take a look at Juliana, marveled by how the other girl was enjoying the concert. The dark haired girl looked radiant, happy, irradiating an energy the brunette had never seen before.

Oh, just slip the noose  
Untie the rope from my wrists  
I was about to let go  
'Til I knew you existed

Break down, hysteric and young  
Uncomfortably numb  
Then you sent my pain into oblivion  
I was on the verge of breaking down  
Then you came around  
And not a second too late

But after the chorus, Valentina noted how everyone was actually enjoying the show. Jumping, screaming, smiling. John was taking the audience to a real ride with them, while Daisy and Juliana seemed hypnotized by the whole situation.

Well, loneliness is hell and you're alone  
But I can tell you that it's everything you need  
Because it brought you back to me  
And now you see that I knew better, yeah, I knew better  
Than to refuse your hand, you rescued me from myself

Oh, just slip the noose  
Untie the rope from my wrists  
I was about to let go  
'Til I knew you existed

John was almost at the edge of the stage by the moment the second chorus went through, with the people on the first row reaching out to him, while the three girls smile widely at the interactions. 

Break down, hysteric and young  
Uncomfortably numb  
Then you sent my pain into oblivion  
I was on the verge of breaking down  
Then you came around  
And not a second too late

Valentina closed her eyes for a second because she knew her solo was coming, and she was as nervous as she had never been in her entire life. But then she saw Juliana staring at her, and when their eyes met the other girl smiled and winked at her, making the brunette completely forget about everyone else, playing with a confidence she had never experienced before.

Oh, just slip the noose  
Untie the rope from my wrists

So break down, hysteric and young  
Uncomfortably numb  
Then you sent my pain into oblivion  
I was on the verge of breaking down  
(Oh, just slip the noose, untie the rope from my wrists)  
I was on the verge of breaking down  
(I was about to let go 'til I knew you existed)  
I was on the verge of breaking down  
Then you came around  
And not a second too late

When the last note ended, everyone was screaming, applauding and jumping. Valentina smiled just like the rest of her bandmates, feeling like they had the entire world in their hands.

\----------------------------

Half an hour later, they were again in the backstage room, celebrating the incredible show they had just given with Guille, who said everyone in the audience and the press were surprised by the music and lyrics, and couldn’t wait to hear more.

“This requires a real celebration” John said standing in the couch. “I’m going to have a drink and my sister is coming with me, since she can drink now” The boy jumped from the couch and hugged Daisy. “Who’s coming with us?” He asked before heading to the door. Everyone else stayed in silence, specially Valentina.

“Oh, I’m sorry Val, I didn’t…” He said before being interrupted by the young Carvajal. “It’s okay, John. You should enjoy this moment with your sister. It’s a special night. You should go too, Juls” Valentina spoke with a sad expression on her face.

“I don’t drink, so I'll stay. You should go with them, Guille. Just to make sure the situation does not scalate” The dark haired girl said laughing while looking at her friend. “You know I would never embarrassed myself in front of my sister, Juliana” John said before disappearing, followed by Daisy and Guille, who came back a second later. “Stay here and I’ll come back once these two had had their drink and the van is ready to leave, okay?” The two girls nodded and Guille left, closing the door behind him.

Valentina leaned against the wall near her, with her phone on her hands, still surprised by the wonderful reception the show had, specially for her. Suddenly, she noted Juliana coming closer until the other girl was standing right in front of her, but staring at the floor.

The brunette put the phone in her pocket and raised her head, crossing her arms over her chest and smiling. “What?” She asked, because Juliana remained silent. The dark haired girl took a deep breath and looked up, meeting the piercing blue eyes of Valentina staring at her intensely.   
“You were amazing tonight” Juliana finally said with a smile, while her cheeks turned a little red. Valentina moved closer to the wall, resting her back completely against it. “You too. But, you always are” The brunette wasn’t smiling now, her eyes fixated on Juliana’s before going down to the other girl’s lips.

“You shouldn’t” Juliana said, her breathing increasing at every second. “I shouldn’t what?” Valentina asked firmely. “Do what you’re thinking” Juliana responded. “And what am I thinking, Juls?” But the dark haired girl didn’t answer, she just stayed there, staring at Valentina.

Seconds, minutes went by and none of them moved. Until Valentina took her back off the wall and stood a little closer from Juliana. “You shouldn’t be attracted to me” Juliana said, still holding her ground, not escaping from the closeness. “It’s a little late for that” Valentina replied before placing her mouth inches apart from Juliana’s, almost touching it but not quite, while they were still staring at each other. 

Valentina licked her lips and breathe in, just before feeling the crush of Juliana’s mouth on hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday!
> 
> Did this really happen? This chapter is a little shorter than the previous ones, because I had to divide this part in two, so the next one will be quite long. What do you think will happen now? 
> 
> Remember that you can listen to all the songs that have appeared so far in the fic on Spotify, in the list that I have specially created for this. Sometimes I leave some songs from the next updates, so don't forget to check it out:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/14oVek600YetIxCuYl6sJC?si=Q1WMPqOhTWa1z_rNhoP-gA
> 
> You can also start reading my new story, The Hanging Tree, a Juliantina AU mixed with The Hunger Games. Herés the link:   
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22169815/chapters/52924591
> 
> Let's be friends on Twitter and Instagram: @MacaReynolds.
> 
> See you!


	10. My Heroine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your taste, my touch. A little bit of love and a whole lot of lust. I'm feeling pretty lonely baby, so just let me in”, The Maine.

.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Valentina felt like she was floating. That was the best way she could describe the sensations passing through her mind, body and soul while feeling Juliana’s soft lips against hers. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. Before she could even reciprocate the kiss the way she wanted to, the door slamming open and Guille’s voice took her back to the real world.

“There are like a million cameras outside. We need to leave. NOW” Her brother spoke while walking into the room, holding his phone on his hand, followed by John and Daisy. 

When Valentina opened her eyes, ready to react to whatever was happening around her, Juliana was already on the other side of the room, staring at the floor pretending nothing had happened. The brunette sighed in frustration, and before being able to say anything, Guille dragged her out of the room with the rest of the band walking behind them. 

Four tall and muscular men were waiting outside the room and as soon as Valentina walked out, they formed around her to walk to the end of the hallway, then passing the sea of people still enjoying a good time inside the bar. 

A security guard opened for them the main door of the venue and Valentina felt ugly memories crawling back to her mind. Camera flashes, people screaming, asking questions, demanding answers. Microphones being pushed in front of her, words she couldn’t even understand. Body crushing her personal space, strong arms keeping them away. 

The door of the van was already opened, she climbed in and sit right on the other side, but it didn’t take long before the windows were now the victims of the paparazzi attacks. She shut down completely, not even paying attention to the people around her when the car started moving with Guille, Juliana, John and Daisy inside sitting next to her.

After a few blocks, she finally managed to calm herself a little bit, concentrating only on breathing. She opened her eyes slowly, not even aware she had them closed, and the first thing she saw was Juliana staring at her. Valentina’s heart started beating at full speed just because of the way the other girl was looking at her. Her eyes were a mix of worry and fear, but as soon as their glances met, Juliana looked away. The young Carvajal swallowed thick, still with the taste of the dark-haired girl’s mouth on her lips. She smiled with sadness at the memory of the kiss.

\-----------------------

Valentina was getting use to the long sleepless nights. It was already 3 in the morning and she was completely unable to fall asleep. Juliana was occupying every single of her mind, dying to know what would happen between them after the kiss. On one hand, Valentina wanted to get up and knock on the other girl’s door to demand an explanation about her actions, but also to kiss her again. She had never felt this animal instinctive need to be with someone. Juliana made fer experience things she never thought could be real. 

But, on the other hand, she was scared. The past few days near the dark-haired girl had taught her that she was not consistent when it came to feelings or letting herself go. And the kiss was definitely one of those moments that could break their relationship forever, or take it to another level. But, what would that level be? That question was haunting her.

\-----------------------

It was already past 10 am when a familiar knocking on the door woke her up. Around 5, maybe 6 am, Valentina was finally able to fall asleep, but her dreams didn’t help her. Juliana was there, all distant and cold, pretending like nothing had happened between them. And, even though it was just a dream, Valentina could imagine it being one of the many possible scenarios of what could come next.

She got up and walked to the door to find a smiling John on the other side, his eyes sparkling even with those big black bags below them.

“Hey, sleeping beauty!” He said jokingly and Valentine rolled her eyes. “Daisy and I didn’t work today, but we’re going to have lunch at the restaurant with our coworkers and the owner to celebrate her birthday, and then I’ll take my sis out for some brother and sister time. But we’ll be back tonight after dinner to celebrate with you and Juli, okay?” Valentina nodded trying to hide her discomfort for the idea of spending the whole day at home with Juliana.

“Oh, Juli isn’t back yet. I guess she went out after we came back? I’m not sure, just let her know all this when she returns, alright?” The young Carvajal frowned and nodded again, trying to process everything she had just heard. John walked away and disappeared down the stairs, leaving her completely lost. Juliana had gone out and she knew exactly what that meant. 

Valentina felt stupid and angry. She closed the door and climbed back up on the bed, doing her best not to cry but failing tremendously. She fell asleep again with tears in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks.

\-----------------------

When the brunette opened her eyes again, the sun was not longer filtering through her window, which meant it was already past noon. She moved her head slightly to check on the watch on her night stand. 1 pm. She huffed. Valentina hated it when she would fall asleep crying. 

She got up and walked to the bathroom to take a shower and relax herself a little bit and erased every trail of her tears from her face. It took her a lot more than usual, but once she was done, she was definitely feeling much better. Or, not that bad.

Some disturbing noises coming from her stomach reminded her she hadn’t eaten anything, so she made her way to the kitchen to find a plate of Fajitas waiting for me. She smiled a little before remembering it was probably Juliana who cooked it. She ate alone and in silence on the table, gathering some courage to go to the basement where I was sure Juliana was.

\-----------------------

Valentina stood in front of the studio door for what it seemed like hours. She was not ready to talk to Juliana, but she needed to. And it had to be as soon as possible. Every minute that passed by, the anxiety grew and she knew if she didn’t walk in soon she would back out.

When she entered, the first thing she noted was the loud music playing. It was one of the songs they have recorded with the band. Juliana was lying on the couch with her eyes closed, probably sleeping. 

The brunette walked carefully, trying not to make any noise that could wake the other girl up. She reached the end of the couch and extended her hand slowly, to shake Juliana, but before she could touch her, the dark-haired girl grabbed her by the wrist opening her eyes.

“Shit!” Valentina screamed while jumping to take a few steps back. Juliana sat down laughing, while the brunette tried to catch her breathe. “Why would you do that? You scared the shit out of me, Juliana!” Valentina complained while the other girl was still laughing.

“You should have seen your face” Her laughter was so contagious that the young Carvajal couldn’t help but join. But, as the laughter went down, an awkward silence took over the room. They stayed there looking at each other for minutes.

“I’m sorry about last night”

“I wanted to talk to you about last night”

They spoke at the same time, smiling after their words mixed. “I shouldn’t have kissed you” Juliana added now staring at the floor while still sitting on the couch. Valentina breath in and walked closer to sit next to her.

“You didn’t want to?” The brunette asked. Her voice shaking, scared to hear the answer.

“I never do something I don’t want to do” Juliana raised her head to look at Valentina who blushed when their eyes met.

“But you do regret it” Valentina insisted.

Juliana smiled shyly. “It’s not that. It’s just… Valentina, we just met and we’re supposed to be working together, just that. A professional relationship. I need this job. I need, we need to sign that contract with your company. I can’t messed that up. For me and for them”.

Valentina nodded silently. “I get that. Trust me, I do. But I can tell that’s not the only thing holding you back. Just tell me” Juliana looked away but Valentina reached her chin and made her kept their eyes locked. “Please”.

“You really don’t see it? Valentina you’re this big thing. A real celebrity, an artist, a star. You’re famous and rich, you have a beautiful family trying to help you get back on your feet. Millions of fans around the world. People that literally adore you and would do anything for you. And I’m… I’m just me. I have nothing to offer you and I’m so messed up right now. I don’t even know if I could be whole again, the things that broke inside me can’t be fixed” Juliana’s eyes were starting to fill with tears, and Valentina felt her heart melting.

“And I’m not messed up? I’m like the biggest most stupide cliché in the history of the world. A popstar that started playing music as a kid, an empire built around her. Family tragedies pushing her over the edge. Drugs, alcohol, a toxic relationship. Fucking rehab. I’ve checked all the boxes” Valentina was now standing and walking around the room, trying not to give in to the tears.

“I’m so messed up I can’t even remember the last time I felt good. Not even good, just fine. I’ve been holding my breath for years, even before my dad’s passing. I’ve been hating myself, my life and my music for so long I can’t even recognise it when I stared at my reflection in the mirror. But here, with you, with the band. All makes sense again. I make sense again. Don’t you see that?” The tears were now falling but Valentina wasn’t sad, she was just mad. At herself for not being able to control her emotions, and at Juliana for being so blind believing she was the only messed up person there.

Another long silence invaded them. Valentina walked to the couch again and sat, trying to find the right words to say in the middle of the mess she had inside her head.

“I just don’t want to get hurt again” Juliana said almost in a whisper. Valentina felt her heart breaking at the confession. She was going to reply but the other girl spoke again first. “Every person that I’ve loved, except for John and Daisy, have failed me. My own parents and the only girl I’ve opened my heart to. And I know you’re not any of them, but you have so much love to give and much more to receive from the world. How could I compete against that. I’m not enough. I have never been enough, to them, to anyone” Juliana was crying now too. In silence, but she couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

Valentina reached out and grabbed the other girl’s hand. “Juliana, this is going to sound like the most cheesy line ever but I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. And I’m not saying this just because I think you’re beautiful or I feel attracted to you, which by the way I do. I’m saying this as someone that admires you. I truly believe you’re an incredible musician, but also a wonderful person that had suffered way more than you ever deserved and I’m so sorry for that. I think you’re strong and, even with everything that had happened to you, you’re still willing to give your best at life”.

Juliana stood up and walked a few steps away from Valentina while shaking her head. “You can’t say these things to me. You don’t even know me, Val. You don’t know how broken I am. All of your words make it so hard for me right now. Please, just stop” Valentina followed her and stood up in front of Juliana, grabbing her hands. “What do you mean? What am I making harder?” The brunette asked confused.

“Staying away from you” Juliana answered in a low voice. “I don’t want to get hurt but, also, I don’t want to hurt you”. Valentina smiled softly but instantly changed her expression, freeing Juliana’s hands. “Do you know how you hurt me?” She asked in a serious tone. The dark haired girl looked directly at her eyes, waiting. “By pushing me away. By going out without telling anyone. Spending the night God knows where, with who knows whom”.

Now it was Juliana the one smiling. “Last night” She said taking back Valentina’s hands on hers. “I went out trying to find someone to make me forget about you. That’s what I have done every night at the disco alone since you came here” Valentina bit the inside of her cheek and looked away. “Val, look at me” Juliana pleaded. “But last night I couldn’t be with anyone else after kissing you, because I knew I would never forgive myself if I ever washed away the taste of your lips on mine with someone else’s. So I just wander on the streets, trying to…” Juliana couldn’t finish what she was saying because Valentina’s mouth covered hers in a fervent kiss.

The young Carvajal held the other girl’s face in her hands, digging her fingers inside the black silky hair. Juliana didn’t react at first, but then took Valentina by the waist to hold her in place. The brunette slipped her tongue through the other girl’s lips, who instantly opened her mouth to welcome it inside. 

When their tongues crushed, Valentina moaned loudly, feeling electricity running through her whole body. She had never felt a kiss like that one.

Valentina’s urgency increased, so she pushed Juliana against the nearest wall without separating their mouths for even a second. But when the need for air became completely necessary, the young Carvajal backed out, holding herself by her hands against the wall, clashing her forehead with Juliana’s delicately.

Suddenly, they were both smiling while trying to recover. “I’m sorry” Valentina said after a few seconds. Juliana presses a little harder on her hips to call for her attention. Blue eyes met brown ones and their smiles became wider. “I’m not” Juliana answered immediately and Valentina giggled before joining their lips together again.

This time they kissed slowly, without rush or hunger. Juliana’s hands made their way up to hold Valentina’s face between them. She caressed the other girl’s cheeks with her thumbs, while her fingertips massaged the back of her neck. 

Valentina’s hands were now on Juliana’s shoulders using them as an anchor, the only thing connecting her to reality. But when Juliana slightly bit Valentina’s bottom lip, the brunette lost her mind.

She growled with pleasure and moved her hands down, slipping under Juliana’s t-shirt. The dark-haired girl moaned at the sensation, and the sound only made Valentina’s desperation grow. She grabbed her by the waist and slid her hands up through her ribcage to the side of her breast. Juliana moved her head back and Valentina wasted no time to attack her neck, leaving a trade of wet kisses in every single millimeter of skin available. She licked and bit, making Juliana’s body shake.

Valentina was so lost on the other girl, she barely realised Juliana was trying to push her away. In a sudden movement, the dark-haired girl changed their positions, clashing the brunette’s back on the wall. Valentina was about to resume the kiss when Juliana stepped away a little, standing out of her reach.

“We should stop” She said with her breathing still irregular. Valentina stared at her looking for a sign of regret, but she didn’t find any. “Why?” She asked when she could finally managed to form a sentence. 

Juliana stayed in her place, showing a shy smile. “If we keep going, I won’t be able to stop”. Valentina bit her lip. “I don’t want to stop” She replied playfully. “Did you want to stop?” The question floated in the air, filling the silence in the room while the sound system was changing the song.

The sound of a strident electric guitar broke the calm and Juliana took a step forward, capturing Valentina’s lips on hers while taking her by her thighs and lifting her up. The brunette jumped a little to climb on Juliana, curling up her legs around the other girl’s waist.

I'm feeling pretty dirty baby  
Forgive my sins  
I get the feeling you can save me honey  
My heroine

The music kept playing and John’s voice invaded the place, but none of them were paying attention to the song anymore. With Valentina still against the wall, Juliana pushed harder to keep her in place while her hands made their way up to grab Valentina’s t-shirt and toss it away. The brunette wasn’t wearing a bra and Juliana smiled at the view. She didn’t hesitate and kissed one of Valentina’s nipples dedicatedly, placing it between her lips and then licking it. The brunette screamed and sank her fingers on Juliana’s hair, pushing her closer. The dark haired-girl smiled before gently sucking the pink button, making Valentina moaned. 

Your hips, my hands   
You swing and you dance  
Yea, I'm feeling pretty lonely baby  
So just let me in  
Just let me in

Their lips met again while Juliana pushed Valentina up a little bit more and secured her hold on her before walking away from the wall, making their way to the couch without breaking the kiss. She lay the brunette down carefully and stayed on her feet to throw her t-shirt away while Valentina started removing her sweat pants. Juliana got rid of her shorts and helped the other girl with the piece of clothing, removing her panties too. 

Valentina sat down for a moment, placing both her hands on the helm of Juliana’s underwear and slid them down without breaking eye contact. The dark-haired girl raised he feets to remove the piece entirely and moaned when Valentina left a soft kiss on her pubis. 

Your my heroine, just suicide  
If I let you in, you crawl inside  
Oh, you save my skin  
She can't wait to sink in  
My heroine

Juliana’s eyes were darkest than Valanetina had even seen them. The shorter girl placed both her hands on the young Carvajal’s shoulders and pushed her back against the couch. Then, she went down on her knees and placed herself between Valentina’s legs, who cried out in anticipation. 

The dark-haired girl kissed her way down from Valentina’s torso to her center, while her palms moved from other girl’s knees to the same place. The brunette was shaking and moaning uncontrollably. 

I feel a little withdrawal baby   
Come pick me up   
Took a hit from your level   
Now I just can't get enough

Juliana moved her hands behind Valentina’s legs to pull her closer and opened them a little bit more. She prompted her head into Valentina’s wet center and slid her tongue from her entrance to her clit, making the other girl scream and grabbed violently to the cushions of the couch. 

Juliana smiled and then run her tongue again, now in the opposite direction, getting another loud moan in response. 

Your taste, my touch,  
A little bit of love and a whole lot of lust.  
I'm feeling pretty lonely baby,  
So just let me in  
Just let me in

Juliana used two fingers to separate Valentina’s labia and sank her head completely, using her tongue to penetrate the other girl while her nose rubbed against her clit. Valentina knew she wouldn’t last long, she was experiencing something new, unexpected and unique. It had been more than a year since the last time she had sex, mucho more since she received oral, and even before that it was never like that. 

She did her best to prolong it, but Juliana was taking her over the edge.

Your my heroine, just suicide  
If I let you in, you crawl inside  
Oh you save my skin  
She can't wait to sink in  
My heroine

When the dark-haired girl creeped her tongue up again to find Valentina’s clit, the brunette couldn’t hold it any longer. She pressed her thighs against Juliana’s head and jerked her body roughly when her orgasm hit her.

Dada dadada da da da da  
Dada dadada da da da da  
Dada dadada da da da da  
Dada dadada da da da da

Your hips, my hands, you swing, and you dance  
I'm feeling pretty lonely baby,  
So just let me in

But Juliana didn’t stop licking, erasing every trace of Valentina’s orgasm with her mouth, drinking it, savoring it.

Your my heroine, just suicide  
If I let you in, you crawl inside  
Oh you save my skin  
She can't wait to sink in  
My heroine

Your my heroine, just suicide  
If I let you in, you crawl inside  
Oh you save my skin  
She can't wait to sink in  
My heroine

When the song ended and Valentina was starting to breathe normally, Juliana moved her head away and kissed her way up to the other girl’s body so their lips could meet again. Valentina moaned when she tasted herself inside of Juliana’s mouth. “Let’s go to my room” The brunette said in the middle of the kiss.

\-----------------------

“What time is it?” Juliana asked while lying on Valentina’s bed, with the brunette’s head on her naked torso and her arm across her stomach. The dark-haired girl was caressing the young Carvajal’s back, trying to move her head enough to take a look at the clock on the nightstand. 

Valentina grunted at the movement, holding Juliana tighter and making her laugh. “I need to make dinner for us before John and Daisy return” She said smiling, but Valentina didn’t move.

“We don’t need to eat. I mean, you already did” She replied playfully and Juliana laughed again.

“Well, you’re right about that. But I wouldn’t mind eating real food, you know?” Valentina was about to protest when her stomach growled. “And I think you need it too” Juliana added popping herself up to rest her back on the head of the bed.

“It’s only 6 pm. We can stay here a little longer and then order some pizza. How about that?” Valentina proposed staring at Juliana from her place. The other girl meditated for a second. “Deal” She finally said, kissing Valentina’s forehead. 

The brunette passed one of her legs to the other side of Juliana’s body and climbed up to straddle her between her own. Juliana placed her hands on Valentina’s hips and they kissed fervently, with the young Carvajal holding the other girl’s face in her hands.   
“What are we going to do now?” Juliana asked without breaking the kiss. Valentina didn’t stop and kept locking their lips. “I think is pretty obvious what’s about to happen” She answered moving her mouth to Juliana’s neck. The dark-haired girl shivered.

“I didn’t mean right now. What are we going to do about this? I don’t think we should tell John and Daisy, much less to your brother” Valentin stiffed for a moment and then backed out a little to stare at the other girl

“Yeah, you’re right. We should wait” Valentina agreed. “For some strange reason you look beautiful when you’re right” She added, making Juliana laugh and bent over to kiss Valentina again.

The kiss was urgent again. Juliana dragged her hands across Valentina’s side, from her thighs to her breast, massaging them dedicatedly. Valentina moaned in response and threw her head back, leaving Juliana enough space to lick and bite her neck.

One of the dark-haired girl hands went down following the line of Valentina’s abdomen and made her way south, reaching to wetness on the brunette’s center. The young Carvajal held herself by Juliana’s shoulders, screaming in pleasure when the other girl slid her fingers through her folds.

Juliana started out with a slow rhythm, circling Valentina’s clit and her entrance without touching them. Thebrunette started moving up and down, back and forth siking for friction and protested when Juliana didn’t act on her urgency. 

Juliana smiled at Valentina’s desperation and finally penetrated her with one finger. Valentina grabbed herself tighter almost crushing Juliana’s bones. The dark-haired girl’s finger moved slowly a few times before being joined by another, causing Valentina to cry out.

The dark-haired girl stiffed her hand when Valentina started jumping uncontrollably above her. When Juliana felt Valentina was closed, she used her thumb to massage her clit making the other girl screamed once again. It only took a few more minutes before Valentina came undone and threw herself completely against Juliana’s body, when she held her and lay both of them down on the bed again, with the brunette hugging her like a koala.

\-----------------------

“I want to touch you” Valentina said after a long couple of minutes, still attached to Juliana’s body. “But you need to guide me. I’ve never done this before. A girl, I mean” She laughed at her own comment making Juliana laugh too.

“You don’t have to” The dark-haired girl said while stroking Valentina’s hair.

“I know” She replied softly. “But I want to”. Valentina popped her head up to look at Juliana, coping her face with one of her hands. She kissed her tenderly while the other her moved south. 

Valentina broke the kiss to roll to her side, holding her head with her hand and flexed arm. Juliana’s eyes shut closed when the brunette’s fingertips reached her center. Valentina was surprised of how wet Juliana was, and that made her want to touch her even more.

She slid her fingers easily through the wetness she found, making Juliana moan. The brunette inserted to fingers inside of the other girl, earning a loud scream in response. The image was intoxicating to Valentina. Juliana with her eyes closed, grabbing the sheets with her fits strongly closed and her legs open to Valentina.

The young Carvajal found a steady rhythm guided by Juliana’s movements and screams until she started feeling the other girl’s walls closing around her fingers. She took them out and smiled when Juliana protested, but before the other girl could actually say something she started massaging her clit, making her moaned louder than ever. 

A few seconds later, Juliana reached her climax shaking her whole body. Valentina walked her through it, keeping her motion on her clit. When the dark-haired girl finally steadied herself, Valentina kissed her softly and put her head back on Juliana’s chest, wishing she could stay there forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Sorry for the delay, this chapter has taken way more than I've expected. But here it is and I really hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Remember that you can listen to ALL the songs included in the story on Spotify, here's the link to the playlist:  
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/14oVek600YetIxCuYl6sJC?si=patDxR04ROa0mOhE7qaTeQ
> 
> Let's chat on Twitter or Instargam: @MacaReynolds.
> 
> I am also writting a Juliana - The Hunger Games AU, here's the link:  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22169815/chapters/52924591
> 
> See you soon!


	11. Bad Behavior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, I inhale you in small doses but adore you like the roses, when you're bad for me, yeah. But you're bad for me”, The Maine.

How about a little from Juliana’s POV? Here we go  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
With my eyes still close I inhale deeply and a flowerish scent invades my senses immediately, I feel a light pressure over my chest and soft puffs of air against my neck. I smile automatically, remembering exactly where I am and why. 

I open my eyes just to confirm Valentina is lying next to me, almost above me actually, her white and delicate skin constransting perfectly with mine. I try to enjoy at least a little longer the peace I’m feeling in this exact moment, something I haven’t experienced for so long I can’t even recognize the sensation.

Moving my head a little I get a glimpse of the watch on the nightstand. It’s 7 am on a Sunday. John and Daisy don’t work today, but I don’t want them to catch me in Valentina’s room. So I carefully started to move her arm from my torso, trying not to wake her up. I make my way away from her body and the bed, missing her contact instantly. I take a deep breath while I try to find my clothes on the floor with the little light that comes in from the window.

With my shirt on, I take the rest of the items left and walk to the door, doing my best to not make any noise. I must have failed, because before I can reach it a soft voice calls me out, making me smile.

“Sneaking out?” Valentina asks. I turn around to find her sitting against the back of the bed, sheets tangled on her legs but her torso completely exposed. I stare more than necessary, unable to believe a woman like that had shared two nights with me already. It’s surreal.

“Juls?” The mention of my name brings me back to reality. I shake my hair, trying to react.

“Sorry. I should go back to my room before the guys wake up” I answer when I finally manage to remember the stupid reason I am not lying in bed next to her, enjoying the feeling of our bodies together.

“You’re the only one that wakes up early on a Sunday” She replies and I smile. “Besides, leaving is overrated. You should stay”. My smile grows wider but I do not move one inch closer.

“Oh, yeah? How’s that? We agreed that we wouldn’t tell them about… Well, about us” I speak without even understanding my own words. Us? Is there an us? We’ve slept together two nights in a row, but that’s it. I decide not to go down that road at that moment. “Go back to sleep” I say, but once again my feet are stuck into the floor without moving and my eyes still lost in the magnificent piece of art that’s Valentina Carvajal naked in front of me.

“I don’t see you leaving” She says with a smirk and I lick my lips, unable to think about anything else but running back to the bed and staying there with her for as long as I can.

“You’re very distracting” I reply swallowing thickly.

“Am I? I don’t want to be a distraction” She’s playing innocent and making me regret even more my decision of leaving. But I must. I turn around again, taking the few steps left to the door and opening it quickly before looking at Valentina one final time.

“See you at breakfast”.

\--------------------------

I’m in the kitchen frying some eggs when I feel a pair of cold hands under my shirt. I recognize her smell immediately and I panic. But before I could move away, she places a soft kiss on my neck and steps back.

“Good morning” When I turn around, my eyes find some beautiful blue ones staring back at them. 

“Good morning, now properly” I anser getting back to my task.

“It would be a better morning if someone hadn't left me sleeping myself” She states and I can feel the put she’s making even without looking at her.

“Yeah, sorry about that. But it was for the best” I don’t dare to turn around because I know I won't be able to fight the urge to kiss her.

“I know. I know. But you’re so comfortable as a pillow” She makes me laugh at that.

“So that’s what I am to you? A pillow?” 

“You’re so much more” She’s suddenly speaking against my ear and my whole body shakes when I hear her voice, deep but melodic. Sweet but sexy. She’s going to kill me, I’m sure of it.

“I think we should have some rules about personal space when we’re not alone together in our rooms or the basement” I say after taking a deep breath.

“Why?” She doesn’t move and I just want to turn and clash my lips against her.

“You know why” I can feel her smiling and I am just about to forget about everything I just have said and kiss her, when John walks into the kitchen interrupting us.

“Hey” He’s still a little sleepy.

“Good morning” Valentina and I speak at the same time, pretending nothing was happening a few seconds ago.

“I need a powerful dose of coffee” John says while taking a cup from the cabinet above me. 

“I’ll go set the table” Valentina says and I’m thankful, because I know we won’t be able to hide what’s happening.

\--------------------------

Breakfast is, at least, awkward. Valentina and I try to avoid even looking at each other. Daisy is so sleepy she barely says a word and John is clearly feeling a strange vibe. I know him as much as I know myself and I'm panicking. I might be paranoid, but I can sense he knows something weird’s going on and I am begging with every single piece of my mind that he won’t be asking me anything. But we’re like brother and sister, we always talk about everything.

After washing everything up, we all head to the basement to record some songs and help Valentina with hers. We know we’ll be leaving to LA in a couple of days and we have to get the demos ready, so we do what we must. 

But, once again, the whole vibe between the group is weird, and I can constantly feel John’s eyes on me and them moving to Valentina. I try to focus but it is hard having that beautiful girl next to me, singing and playing guitar the most sexier of ways, all the memories from the nights before coming to my mind, hitting like waves, with John inspecting me like trying to figure out some mystery.

When we finish, the sun is already gone and I relax a little because John offers to go out and get something to eat. But my peace lasts just a few minutes, because before leaving the basement he asks me to join him and I know. I swear I know right in that moment that I’ll be facing a thousand questions I really don’t want to answer.

I take a deep breath and I look at Valentina, somehow feeling she understands what’s about to happen. I take all the courage I have left in my body and I walk out of the studio with him. 

We don’t say a single word until we’re like a block away from the house. He’s looking straight into the horizon, thinking and I can only stare at the ground, waiting for the inquisition.

“I have a date tomorrow night” His declaration takes me by surprise completely. First of all, because I was expecting a question about me and Valentina. But also because he is very reserved about his personal life when it comes to dating and relationships. Johns hasn’t been with a girl or a guy in a while, mainly because he is so focused on raising Daisy. Is one of the things I admire the most about him, the way he always puts her sister first.

“A date?” I ask in shock.

“Yeah, I know. Weird, hu? I was surprised to even have the courage to ask this boy out but since we’re going away in a couple of days I thought, what do I have to lose?” He’s slightly blushed and I smile at that. John’s never like that, he is always free and never feels ashamed of anything.

“Well, I’m glad. It’s been ages right?”

“Ha, ha. Very funny” Silence invades us again and we walk like that for a few more blocks before reaching the little truck on the street we were looking for.

With our burritos ready to go, we walk back and we are about to turn in our street, he finally says it.

“So, you and Valentina, hu?” For a second I’m frozen, my brain is completely blank and my mouth dry and unable to answer anything. Even a lie. 

“What do you mean?” I ask pretending to not understand what he is implying.

“Juli, you can hide anything from me and you know it. I’m gonna be honest here, I was not into this at all at the beginning, when I started noticing the way you two looked at each other. I might even have said a thing or two to Valentina. But I know you. You’re falling hard for this girl. I just hope there’s water in the pool, Juli. I really do. I don’t want to see you in pieces again”.

I replay his words in my mind over and over again until we get to the door of the house. I still don’t know what to answer. John doesn’t say anything else and I stay in silence too while we make our way into the living room where Daisy and Val are laughing at something they’re watching on the tv.

I can feel Val’s eyes on me the whole dinner and John’s too. But my mind is far away. If he has noticed how I feel it means I’m being too obvious and I’m only bad at hiding my feelings when they’re so strong that they overwhelm me. I don't want that to happen with Valentina, because she can really hurt me. Even if she doesn’t want to. Everything is moving in slow motion but inside my head things are rapidly becoming too real, especially my fears and insecurities. 

I excuse myself and go to my bedroom early, while we were all hanging out in the living room after eating. I know Valentina won’t follow me because it would be too obvious. And I’m glad she won’t, because my mind is at full speed thinking about everything that will happen when we get to LA. Here we’re in my world, something I can control. But there, in that enormous city full of celebrities, money, parties, and so many things I’m unfamiliar with, nothing will be the same.

I know it will be great for the band and for our careers, and for Valentina, because she needs to get her life back on track. But there, in her world, we got nothing in common. And I’m sure she’ll realise that soon enough. 

Valentina will have the world in her hands again, everyone trying to be around her. How could I ever expect her to choose me among everyone else?

I put on some music in an attempt to shut down my thoughts. Of course, it doesn’t work because all of the bandas that I like the most write the saddest songs in the world and they are my favorites.

But i let myself go into the lyrics and music, trying to get into a trance and fall asleep.

A soft knock on the door brings me back to reality and I realise it’s already 1 am. I smile right away, even if I shouldn’t, knowing the visitor at the other side of the door is the same one I’ve been sleeping with the past two nights.

I stand up and open it carefully and I don’t even have time to enjoy the wonderful view in front of me, because Valentina’s lips are on mine while her hands slipped under my shirt, pushing me inside the bedroom and closing the door behind us a little too loudly.

As I try to gain some control, she has already managed to walk us to the bed and I’m lying flat against the mattress with Valentina all over me. I feel her in every cell of my body.

“It seems like a million years had passed since I kissed you” She says almost without stopping the kiss. I can’t do anything else but laugh.

“You’re overreacting” I say, sliding my hands to grab Valentina’s t-shirt and pulling it up, throwing it as far as possible. And I almost chuckled when I realised she was wearing absolutely nothing under it.

I roll us over to be on top. “I didn’t want to waste no time” Valentina says and I growl desperately, holding myself with an arm trying to slip away from my own clothes. 

“What are you listening to?” She asks while helping me get rid of my pijama.

“Cigarrettes after sex” I can barely answer.

“I like the sound of that proposal” I would laugh, but I can’t focus on anything else but the fire that her touch ignites in me.

We kiss slowly now, trying to enjoy it. “I love feeling the taste of your lipstick on my mouth” I say without thinking.

Valentina laughs. “Why?”

“Because it means I got to kiss you. Since I first saw you I just wanted to know how your pink shiny lips tasted”.

We look at each other intensely. “What do they taste like” She asks, but there’s not a single laugh in the air now.

I lean forward, barely touching her mouth with mine. “They taste like danger”.

\--------------------------

I close my eyes as soon as I feel Valentina’s mouth on my neck. The softness of her lips mix with her impatient dominance makes me lose any other focus. But I need to cool things off. Everything is getting out of control. “Val” I say almost without a breath, trying to recover myself and put some sense into my brain. But my body doesn’t cooperate at all and it’s completely at Valentina’s mercy. 

Minutes later, I try again, now with her hands under my shirt, burning every inch she would touch. “Val, please” I beg, opening my eyes in an attempt to gain some perspective and get out of the alternative reality I had been sent to after the past weekend.

It’s Monday morning and we were lying on the couch of the studio, making out, as we have been doing the past few days. Among other things. 

“Begging already? Not even a little foregame?” Valentina teases, making me smile. I want to stay in control so bad, but the other girl is making it so difficult. “We need to stop” I finally managed to say, taking Valentina by the hips.

“Wha- why?” Valentina moves her head up to look at me in the eyes. I run my finger through the side of her body to reach her left cheek and caresse it delicately, smiling softly at the pout she’s making.

“We should be working” I state, still smiling, when Valentina huffs in response. “We are working. This is how I get inspire” Val responds leaning in to kiss me again, but dodge her lips and sit with my back against the couch with Valentina still straddling my legs.

“No, Juls… C’mon. Just 5 more minutes” Valentina pleads resting her head on my shoulder, making me laugh again. 

She takes advantage and grabs me by the neck and kisses me deeply and aggressively, making me moan into the kiss. I tightened my grip on Valentina’s hips as a reaction, after she bites my lip.

“That was rough” I claim, raising my eyebrows while we try to recover our breaths. 

“Don’t you like it rough?” Valentina asks with a smirk. 

I lick my lips before answering. “I think that would be you, baby. I like your softness but… I’m not asking you to be gentle either” I wink at her before standing up, carrying Valentina with me to the piano. 

“Ready to make some music?” I ask when we are sitting on the bench. 

“Ugh, fine” Valentina says huffing.

\------------------------------

Valentina is standing in front of the microphone recording the song we have been working together for hours. I was supposed to be listening carefully to make any necessary correction for it, but my mind is elsewhere completely. 

I’m too far gone admiring the features of the women in front of me. Valentina’s skin looks whiter than ever under the soft light of the basement and her eyes are brighter too. 

Valentina closes her eyes as she lets herself go, singing and moving her hands, while I feel completely hypnotized, my heart pounding rapidly. And right in that moment, I feel that fear again. 

It’s like a void growing inside of me, earning space leaving out anything else. The sensation of falling out of control, unable to stop but totally unsure of what would be waiting when I land. 

Valentina is beautiful, talented, rich, famous and so many other things. I feel like I'm nothing in comparison to her. 

I take a deep breath trying to calm myself down, still staring at Valentina. I’m scared, sure, but I am also feeling many other things that are not bad at all. Intense? Of course, but in a comfortable kind of way.

When Valentina finishes recording, she walks towards me, sitting on the piano bench. I feel her hands on my shoulder massaging them, and I close my eyes at the contact. 

“I don’t want to go back to LA” Valentina suddenly speaks, taking me out of my trance.

“Why not? I mean, you didn’t even want to come here in the first place and now you don’t want to leave?” I turn around to face her, but she’s avoiding eye contact.

“I know, it’s stupid, right? But being here I felt like myself again, and I’m not sure I’ll still feel like this when we all go there” Valentina is staring at the ceiling so I take her by the hands and push her down a little.

“Val, look at me” And so she does. “You’ll always be you, no matter where you’re at. Cause feeling lost or away from yourself has nothing to do with a place or even with people, it’s just something that we all feel sometimes. But we’ll all help you out to stay like this, being yourself”.

Valentina smiles and I feel my heart jumping. Beautiful ocean eyes meet mine and I am melting right in there. She leans down and kisses me softly, making me moan.

“Val…” I try to stop her but that just makes her deepen the kiss.

“We’re done with work” She claims against my lips, before kissing me again. And I know I have lost this battle too.

\------------------------------

“C’mon Juls, please…” Valentina begs me while we are in the kitchen preparing lunch for both of us and Daisy and John.

“No, I’ve told you, that song should have never been part of the band repertorium. I’m just glad I didn’t keep it to myself because Alex would have stolen it. But I don’t want us to play it. It’s too personal”.

“It would be the perfect single, I just know it. And you said it yourself like a million times, you have to show your most vulnerable self while writing music. If that song speaks about everything that had happened to you, it would do the same for many people. And that’s the magic of it, right?”

I keep revolving the salsa but turn my head to look at Valentina. Her eyes sparkling with excitement, her lower lip capture by her teeths. I take a deep breath knowing I’m completely lost.

“I’ll think about it, okay?”I finally state, focusing again on the food.

“That’s enough for me. Now… About that new song you were telling me about, are we going to rehearse it today?” 

“Mmm, maybe. It’s not done yet”

“Maybe I could help you with it. I know that you’re the genius but…”

“Val, you’re an amazing musician too. Don’t ever doubt that. But, no. I need to finish it myself. Then you can all make some arrangements. Although I don’t think I’ll get anything done if you keep looking at me like that” She smiles.

“How do you want me to look at you?” Valentina asks, taking one step closer to me.

“Val…” I say, trying to keep my head on what I was doing.

“What?”

“You know exactly what”

“You know what, Juls? I’m starting to think you believe I’m bad for you” Valentina kisses my cheek. “But I don't even care. And maybe that’s what makes me bad for you” I laugh at that.

“You’re definitely bad for me” I add, making Valentina laugh too, before hitting her softly in the arm.

\----------------------------

After our rehearsals and recordings of the afternoon, we had dinner and then I went back to the basement with John. I wanted him to help me play the song I had been working on.

“Is it for Valentina?” He asked almost laughing at me.

I give him the music sheets before grabbing my guitar and handing it tom him.

“Something like that” I answer and we both sit on the floor ready to play.

I never want to be a distraction  
You say as  
You're unashamed and naked  
I feel okay all over  
Void of all composure

And I know this may sound narcissistic  
I like the lips you kiss with  
But I want to wear your lipstick  
Cuz it means I got to kiss them

You say you like the sound of cigarettes after sex  
And I say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah"

One, two hits  
Her lips  
And bad behavior  
I'm in danger  
Three, four a.m  
The feeling's getting stranger  
I'm in danger  
Bad behavior

And I don't have time for your feelings  
You told me  
You're insecure, but don't be  
Stay soft, but don't be gentle  
It's altogether mental

Let's go to a place where we can forget  
We haven't left the room yet  
You eloquently stated  
That leaving's overrated

You say you like the sound of cigarettes after sex  
And I say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah"

One, two hits  
Her lips  
And bad behavior  
I'm in danger  
Three, four a.m  
The feeling's getting stranger  
I'm in danger

Oh, I inhale you in small doses  
But adore you like the roses  
When you're bad for me, yeah  
But you're bad for me, yeah

You medicate me with your poses  
I'm a lush, I know you notice  
You're bad for me, yeah  
But you're bad for me, yeah  
You're bad for me, yeah  
Ohhh, and I say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah"

One, two hits  
Her lips  
And bad behavior  
I'm in danger  
Oh, here we go again  
Hope it don't lose its flavor  
And I'm in danger  
Yeah, I'm in danger  
I think I know that you're bad for me  
Oh, I know you're bad for me, yeah

“You’re screwed” John says when we finish and I nod, because I couldn’t agree more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back!!!!
> 
> I'm so, so, so sorry for the delay. There's been a huge number of reason why this chapter too me so long. First of all, I've been without inspiration and a huge block. Hopefully is totally gone now. And of course, my job, the whole coronavirus situation and more. Hope you're all safe!
> 
> Here's the link to the spotify list where you can check out every song that's mention in the fic.:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/14oVek600YetIxCuYl6sJC?si=kyVGDlysQje4iyu0NAHROg
> 
> And here you can read my other story, a Juliantina and The Hunger Games AU:  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22169815/chapters/52924591
> 
> Follow me on twitter and instagram so we can chat: @macareynolds.
> 
> See you soon!


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